Money, Love & Melanin

We weigh the viral $300K dating rule against real-life alignment, then celebrate Black representation that turns “not our lane” into everyday excellence. From Cool Runnings to indie projects, we connect money talk, standards, and the power of visibility.

• unpacking the $300k dating myth and lifestyle matching
• financial insecurity, boundaries and who pays when
• long-distance costs and sustainable expectations
• standards versus self-inventory and alignment
• Cool Runnings and Black excellence in unlikely spaces
• Dominique Dawes, Black rock bands and genre freedom
• radio voices, media seats and women leading
• community, invitations and what we build next

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Transcript

Warm Welcome And Banter

SPEAKER_03 1:05

I don't know what it is, but I just love being blank.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

What up, Doe? It's your girl Blair. No, my melanin was popping yesterday.

SPEAKER_07 1:14

It's popping today, and it's showing up gonna be popping tomorrow. It's your boy Red, and you're listening to the Highly Melanated Podcast.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

Hey guys, hey guys, hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of Highly Melanated Podcast. The safe space where it is okay to love on yourself if no one else is loving on you.

SPEAKER_02 1:48

Giggity.

SPEAKER_05 1:55

Wow, all of us laughing at that moment made it sound like that. That's a statement that we don't believe in.

SPEAKER_03 2:03

And that's crazy. That is definitely not the case. Uh PJ believes in DEI. Actually, so it can mean I've definitely earned it. DEI.

SPEAKER_07 2:19

Okay. Red, I believe in I D I C, which is a term that they use in Star Trek a lot, which means infinite diversity, infinite um. Oh my god, I just lost the infinite. Uh it's like infinite possibilities. But for C, the C word. Now I have to go look it up. Yeah, because the C word is so many other words.

Belief, Star Trek IDIC, And Vibes

SPEAKER_05 2:43

That's that's that that can be very specific, and I don't think that that's the C word that you're intending.

SPEAKER_03 2:48

I really don't think that that would be it. Nor do I think that I can even keep on.

SPEAKER_07 2:53

I'm sorry. Infinite diversity and infinite combinations. That's what it is. There you go. I was like, what's the C word?

SPEAKER_04 3:02

The C word. Combinations.

SPEAKER_03 3:06

Combinations. Your combination.

SPEAKER_07 3:10

Well, okay, quick quick quick Star Trek background. The reason why that came up was because of the fact that you know you can have infinite pairings and different possibilities of what people can be. So a Klingon can get with a Vulcan, a Vulcan could be with a human, this, that, and the third, blah, blah, blah, blah. So you have a lot of that happening, especially in the new Starf Starfleet Academy. So and I and I like it because why does anything have to be one thing? It could be everything.

SPEAKER_04 3:40

Probability starts. Love it. Yep. Um, and I'm Blair, and just like Whitney, I believe in you and me.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

I believe that we will be in love eternally. As far as I can see. Okay. For me. For me. Alright.

SPEAKER_03 4:08

And we are back with another week just to say, we believe. Oh, wait, see, now you got that stuck. Now I'm thank you, Black.

SPEAKER_05 4:15

Y'all the ones who started talking about what you believe in.

Valentine Songs And Love Views

SPEAKER_03 4:18

Hold on, because it's stuck in my head. Cyborg, can I just so that wedding, that was the wedding song to my uncle and when they my uncle married my aunt Bridget? That was their wedding song. And it's just so, you know. Ooh. Since we just passed Valentine's Day, and uh question of the moment, question of the moment. The questions that pop into PJ's head randomly that have nothing to do with the episode. Um We just passed Valentine's Day. What's like a perfect Valentine's song for you? And that that is my answer. I believe in you and me. That's that song is it's such a beautiful song.

SPEAKER_01 5:01

A perfect Valentine's Day song? I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 5:05

Um Okay, or I'll add in, well, I'll give you time. Yeah, well, I'll give you what song that makes you think of Valentine's Day. So I'll also add in the song that we used to hear when you woke up at three o'clock in the morning and it was Will Downing and Rochelle Farrell um with nothing ever felt like this.

SPEAKER_05 5:25

So I mean, I really think it depends on what type of era you're currently experiencing because Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:44

Because my right now, mine is I'm so lonely. Well, I mean, of all people, this one here.

SPEAKER_07 5:53

Um, no, I mean, like, I just felt like you and I had something that was like on a side note, you're not talking about what you remember or feel for this Valentine's Day that just passed.

SPEAKER_03 6:04

No, no, no, no, no. It just makes me think of love, like a song that makes me think of love. Oh, okay. So that's what I mean when I say Valentine's Day. Because, you know, in my opinion, Valentine's Day is just another day. Just like, you know, every other day. Like, I've never had a great Valentine's Day as long as I've ever had a relationship. So, like, it's just another day to me. Always, even when I was involved. So, not that I'm anti-Valentine's Day, but it's just like, if you like it, I'll make it great for you, but you don't have to do that for me. In a sense, that makes sense. Does that sound less jerkish? Like in like an asshole.

SPEAKER_07 6:42

Well, I wasn't gonna say that it was jerkish, but I didn't I didn't want that to like be like that was the overall view, but like I can understand like why you why you're saying that now. So thank you for explaining it.

SPEAKER_01 6:57

So now so alright, so that's no, I'll I'll I had to go through some some playlists for inspo. I guess I would say comfortable by her.

SPEAKER_00 7:10

I just need something just very like relaxed, comfortable, chill, secure.

SPEAKER_07 7:20

I was gonna say um let's get away by Norman Brown.

SPEAKER_01 7:35

And get away, you did. Congratulations.

Weekly Wins And Creative Projects

SPEAKER_03 7:38

And so you did. So speaking of that, how's everybody's weeks have been? How's our how's your weeks been since the last time we recorded? Alright. I'll go first. My week has been fantastic. I haven't really done much just building on the school. And it's the the the program is getting bigger, and that's I'm just gonna continue to move in silence, hoping it's gonna grow into something that it as it should. I love teaching podcasting, and I love kids. Um, and uh whoever thought that I would actually enjoy what it is I'm doing when it comes to these little ninjas. What about you, Blair?

SPEAKER_05 8:09

My week has been good. Um last weekend was uh um Nareen's birthday. You guys remember Nareen? She's a guest on the podcast. Happy birthday, Nareen! Bad is me.

SPEAKER_09 8:21

Bad is beat.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

So we had a good time for her birthday. My name is Nene. Don't call me Nene. Come correct when you see me, best believe me. I wreck New York, Q train my course. Bad is beat, 16 years, no divorce. So yeah, good times. It was a good week.

SPEAKER_03 8:42

I want you guys, I want you both to know before we get into uh Sir Traveler over here, that your BTS video is always like at the top of my YouTube feed. Your music video that y'all did for your birthday.

SPEAKER_05 8:56

Oh, the BTB video.

SPEAKER_03 8:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 8:58

Oh, you said BTS. I was like, what behind the scenes? It says BTS on it. I said what behind the scenes? Period. Thank you very much. Love that for us.

SPEAKER_03 9:11

And for you, Mr.

SPEAKER_07 9:14

Everything's been great.

SPEAKER_03 9:17

Yeah. And we love that for you. We love that show. Yes, and we love that. Yes, I love that.

SPEAKER_07 9:25

Everything's been great. Wonderful. I will not I will not complain. Um, I did have, and I gotta show you guys to remind me um before we uh get off.

SPEAKER_03 9:34

Um I'm a I'm a large now um in certain things. So like okay. Large.

SPEAKER_07 9:42

Not subtle at all.

SPEAKER_02 9:44

Just so large. Okay. Anyway, you can get extra large.

SPEAKER_07 9:48

Whatever. Um the uh I gotta show you a teaser that came out for one of the projects that I was working on. Yeah. So that was that was that was really and they did a really good job with the teaser, so it's making me excited about it because this, I think this is one of one of gonna be one of my favorite um projects that I've worked on. It's just that it's an indie project, so it's taking a little bit longer to progress along because everybody still gotta work and do things, but exciting, yes.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

Please show us before we get off the call.

SPEAKER_03 10:22

I am so proud of you. There's definitely a day that goes by. I'm not gonna tell you that I am so proud of you.

Question Of The Week: Money And Dating

SPEAKER_07 10:30

Thank you, sir. I appreciate it. I love it. So it's funny because I was gonna do so question of the week, question of the week, question of the week. Your questions as they pertain to you perspectively and introspectively. I was gonna actually do um a question that was pertaining to Valentine's Day, so you kind of stole you kind of stole my thunder, but um I'll I'll still ask something that was similar, and that is um just asking how you guys feel. Like what is a good amount of money? I was on Instagram and Kevin on stage, uh Kevin on stage, I think you guys have seen his work before. Uh great book, by the way.

SPEAKER_03 11:18

Go support, go support him. It's a good read.

SPEAKER_07 11:21

He um he basically came on and he said he wanted us to check out something. It was this guy who was sitting there that was basically stating, before you marry or get serious with a woman, you have to have$300,000.

SPEAKER_02 11:34

Oh, yeah, I did that, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 11:36

And he started breaking it down. Right. The guy basically said, before you get married to a woman or or even start to begin thinking about getting serious with a woman, you have to have$300,000 to the woman. And$50,000 just goes to the woman just because you give it to her, just, you know, for her to do whatever she wants with it. Another$50,000 would go to her towards a house. And so Kevin got on and basically was saying, you know, he was just so like, I'm so glad that I got married before this whole social media era, because you have men that are out there that are that are teaching people that this is what's expected. And then he goes on to say that if you really want to do it up, you need to have one or two million dollars in the bank before you do whatever. And so it's not always realistic. So my question is basically how you guys feel about that. Do you feel like there's a certain amount of money that somebody needs to have?

Lifestyle Matching Vs Dollar Amounts

SPEAKER_05 12:29

Or it's so funny that you're even asking this because literally right before we got on this call to start recording, I was scrolling through TikTok. And the first video that came up when I opened the app was this video of this woman doing kind of a breakdown of a podcast interview that she was watching, and it was Godfrey, and I don't know who the other gentleman was. Um, but they were interviewing um this woman. I don't know who she was either, but uh basically the person who was recording the video was like showing this podcast happening and she was like breaking it down, and this was the exact topic was um you know, how much money does a man need to have in order to like date a woman, blah blah blah blah, whatever. So, but the interesting thing about her angle that she took with it was she was saying how what she continues to see over and over again is black men, specifically dark-skinned black men, kind of putting out this um propaganda of women, black women, specifically dark-skinned black women, being that they should just take whatever they can get, kind of thing. And um, a lot of it, again, this is this is me paraphrasing, but she was basically saying that it breaks down to like that particular man's own insecurities and projecting it onto the woman. So in this conversation, she like paused it and like would break it down and then like play it, then pause it, then break it down. So at one point, um, she was playing it, and the question that the two men who were hosting the podcast asked the dark-skinned black woman who was the guest was, you know, how much money does a man need to have in order to date you? Or oh, I think the whole oh, that was right, that was it. It was um discussing the idea of women don't want to date a broke man. So they were saying, you know, how much money do you um does a man need to have in order to date you? And then the woman started answering, and she said, Well, I'm not really gonna define it in terms of like a dollar amount or a number that a guy needs to have, but it's more so like I need a guy to be able to, you know, match my lifestyle. If I'm going here and I'm doing this and I'm doing that, I want you to be able to, you know, do it too, do it with me, kind of thing. So basically she was saying, like, you know, meet me where I'm at, essentially. And um both of the guys who are hosting the podcast, the again, the woman who was recording it, paused it and said, now look, look at their body language. Like both of them were kind of like, and they were leaning back, and like the body language is very much giving like, I don't like this answer, and I'm gonna try to like trip her up. So then Godfrey came back and was like, Alright, so what if you were dating a guy and you know he's he's a trucker? You know, truckers make really good money, they make really good money. And so what if he's a trucker and you know, you're saying that you're gonna go off and do X, Y, and Z, and he's like, ah nah, I can't, you know, I'm I'm on the road, I gotta work, but you go ahead and enjoy and do you. So basically, he was trying to like put together a scenario where it was like he's not saying no because he can't do it, he's saying no because he has other priorities. And it was all about like this conversation of like trying to like take what she was saying and not really like acknowledge it or like understand it or or or accept it. It was it all came back to like, girl, you need to take what you can get. Like, why is it like it seems like they were saying, like, why is it the burden of the man to be able to meet X, Y, and Z needs? When at the end of the day, I think what the person who was recording or making the TikTok was basically saying was like, not every man is for every woman. Like, she clearly said, like, what her uh standards are, and if you can't meet those standards, instead of getting upset and trying to make it seem like she's in the wrong for having those standards, move on to somebody who whose standards you do meet, essentially. So I say all of that to answer your question, Chris. With no, I don't I'm I'm I'm in the same boat. Like, I wouldn't necessarily say like there's a specific number that a guy needs to have in order to date me, but I agree with her in the sense of like I I at least need you to be able to match my lifestyle.

SPEAKER_03 17:18

Okay, see I'm glad you ended with that because that's the part of that conversation that always goes left. Like, oh, he's gotta have this, he's gotta have that. Well, then what do you got? You know, I'm living home with my mama, you know, you know, but isn't that he's gonna have all of this? And that's that's relationships, not even gender related. So like I'm glad it has to be like match what I have. But before we move on with that, I do want to give a shout out to Godfrey. Um, because um you're talking about the those the One Africa podcast um with him at Akbar, I think.

SPEAKER_09 17:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 17:50

Um and he I want to give a shout out to him just because I've enjoyed watching him progress in his professional career as an interviewer, as a uh a content creator, and as a comedian, um, and just watched him stand in his era, make a mistake, see it, not try to fix it, understand it, and then move and sound better or make better sense um when he's speaking. So I really, really enjoy watching his shows. Um, but to answer your question, I think it's tricky because I'm always that person that says I don't want to be in a relationship because I'm not as financially stable as I want to be. Um and I don't want somebody else to feel like they have to carry me or you know, I want to be able to match, like you said, match your energy. Um but you do need to be employed. Um or or or have been seeking employment um in the area that makes sense, not like oh, I'm trying to get this job and I'm not doing anything else other than that. Well, you have to do something, um, because I can't afford to um spend all my hard-earned money on you, and I would never expect you to spend it on me. Um then I also you know, that's another tricky conversation because you know, when money gets involved as far as like dating wise, it always like falls apart.

SPEAKER_05 19:15

Well the problem and and and unfortunately there's a lot of everybody talks about like the security that comes along with finances, which is very valid, and there's there's a lot of like you know, financial security is a thing and it is an emotion and it is something that people feel, but I don't think people talk as much about the insecurity that comes from lack of finances, and that can be very difficult in relationships if one person is feeling that kind of insecurity.

Financial Insecurity And Relationships

SPEAKER_03 19:47

It's not even I think it's even deeper than relationships, it goes deeper into like friendships as well. Like nobody wants to everybody once upon a time I was that broke friend, constantly always being around, like you know, y'all know I ain't got the money for this, so I'm sorry. Then we asked you if you had the money, we know you broke, we got you. After a while, that becomes you know, well, then I just won't hang out, I won't do it because I don't want to be the broke person, or I don't want to make you feel like I can't afford, you know, to make you happy or buy you things, which I can't. We're talking about um not present day, but we're talking about in moments. Um, you know, I couldn't. So like why would I put myself out there to get hurt because I know I can't do the things that I would be something that you would want.

SPEAKER_05 20:33

But that goes back to what you were saying before about again, speaking specifically in relationships, like you were you you had said that like you were hesitant to be in a relationship because you know that there's financial responsibilities that come up come along with that that you may or may not necessarily feel like you're at that capacity at whatever point in time that is.

SPEAKER_03 20:55

That's one of the reasons why fing like we stopped because when we when when it got to a point where he couldn't come from all the way from those that trash est state that he lives in to come visit or we meet each other each way, um, neither one of us could just drop at the drop of a hat, just make this trip. So, like, are we really financially stable to even do a long distance relationship?

SPEAKER_05 21:17

No, like that's the thing. And once you do feel like you aren't a position to date, you do have to date within what your financial realm is. And that kind of goes back to like, I guess I I didn't see the whole podcast, but just again, this was me breaking down the interpretation of the person who did like the TikTok. But I can imagine a world where they were talking about, or she would probably say something along the lines of, you know, the man being upset that you know, this girl has these standards or these requirements or what have you that he can't reach. But at the end of the day, it's about it's like if you want that girl, then you have to meet those requirements, you know, that's

SPEAKER_07 22:00

I just think it's just, I mean, I I hear you both. And I I asked this question because I I wondered like who is like with this guy. I think he was perpetuating a sense of um a false sense of like what is supposed to be versus what can be. You know, because like when you're just sitting there and you're just complaining, you're you're just proclaiming that you're supposed to have$300,000 to do this, that, and the third. One of the things that Kevin uh Kevin um pointed out was that most people don't have that money, that kind of money. Most people don't have$300,000 just laying around, and$50,000 just doesn't go to your down payment of a house and it's okay. He's like, bitch, I live in in California. He was like, that doesn't work out here. And so it's a lot of it is about a conversation, but then also being realistic, because one thing that I do see a lot of people do is like, well, I want my man to do this, that, and the third. And it's all like, but can can you even do that for yourself? You know, I saw Instagram earlier today where like you, it was a skit, but it was just all like the the caption was when you when you find out that you you got in a relationship with your crush and they're broke. And so they he had like a whole dinner date inside the back of a car, and it was like some broke down like Camry. And like, you know, he's good, he opened up like a box of fried chicken and not a box of fried chicken. And he was trying to give her like water instead of like, you know, some type of drink or whatever. And she's like upset, but like I wonder, like, and I know that that's a just a skip, but I wonder if someone like her is like really don't got no money to do it for herself to begin with, but yet they're expecting this man to take care of them, and vice versa.

Real-Life Dating Costs And Boundaries

SPEAKER_05 23:51

I think the other problem is that people want to assign a universal rule to everybody. And that's not that's not gonna work. It's not the same for everybody across the board. Everybody has different standards, everybody has different requirements, everybody has different expectations. The pro the the thing is, is you have to find somebody who aligns with your your what you're looking for and what you're looking to do. Like, I remember um I was having a conversation with a friend of mine, and he was talking about how like um his girl, like he wants his girlfriend to have a job, he wants her to do this, he wants her to do that, this, that, and the third, and he said that she didn't really seem like she was that type of girl, like she wanted to be taken care of. I was like, well, clearly the expectations that you have and the expectations that she has do not align. So, do you two need to be dating each other? Like if she made it very clear to you that she, you know, wanted to be a housewife, she wanted to be provided for, she wanted to be at home, and she wanted the man to be the financial, you know, uh breadwinner. She she told you that from jump. So, but you still got into a relationship with her, and now so I that's that's all I'm saying is like everybody has different expectations, and you just need to find the person that aligns with what you can give and what you are expecting. I think again, the problem comes into play where the person that you want does not want what you want, and then it becomes a problem.

SPEAKER_07 25:32

But also, also, can I add this just to pick you all back off what you're saying, because I agree with you, but also because then people also have a misconception on what is standard or what is right, just because you necessarily want it, or just because you feel like that's the way it's supposed to be, whether it's traditional or not. Most people, especially these days, because times have changed, money has changed, everything, a lot of things have changed. So I could so see someone saying something like, Well, I want to be a stay stay-at-home wife, and I want this and I want to be taken care of, and my husband gotta be making at least six figures, like you know, 500 grand a year, and all this other stuff like that. And then they can't find that man, and then they go, Oh, men ain't shit. That's not like a statement like that. I feel like that's not realistic because what you're looking for now is such a needle in a haystack. Not to say that it's not possible. I'm not saying that at all.

SPEAKER_05 26:31

But not everybody is gonna meet those standards that you have.

SPEAKER_07 26:35

Right, the tighter that your your expectations are, it the harder it is gonna be to find to be to find certain people. You'll be able to find them, but then that's not a fair assessment to say like all men ain't shit. That's all I think.

SPEAKER_03 26:51

I think I I I I think it I think most men ain't shit. No, I'm just playing. But I think that it really just boils down to you have to answer yourself, like, what do you want and what do you have?

SPEAKER_07 27:06

And what do you have? Can we put that in bold capital letters?

SPEAKER_03 27:09

Yes, because it can't be all about what you want, because then then that just means that you are a taker. You are not, and that's okay. Because there are givers out there for it. No, there are givers out there for those takers.

SPEAKER_07 27:23

They need to stop too. Sorry, I'm uh I'm annoyed.

Aligning Expectations And Standards

SPEAKER_03 27:27

I mean, and so and and it annoys me too because, like, here's the thing. I I I prime example. This past weekend, we did our opening. Um, we used to do our house party, our Sunday fun day at 4 West here in Harlem. Um, now we've started this place in on in on West Uh 38th Street. Um in the sanctuary. It's called called Sanctuary. So now every Sunday um from 5 to 12. If you live in New York and you want to dance to some good house music, um you come out there and you have a really good time. And we had DJ Cedric, and it was fantastic. There are I, you know, we've had this conversation about how many people I know within the community and how many people know me, and just like I sometimes get astonished by how many people actually do know me in general. Like, not know me, but know of me enough to say, hey, PJ, and I turn around and be like, hey, I'm popular.

SPEAKER_08 28:20

I wanna be popular.

SPEAKER_03 28:23

Exactly. Like, you know, like I I am pretty popular, so I'm I I you know, in in whichever way it's meant, I don't give a fuck about what however people perceive it. But there were a few guys there that I know that I have been on a date with, one in particular, and he brought up this one very thing. He he was like, Let's go out for drinks, you know, it's my birthday coming up. And I I said, Okay, sure, yeah, yeah, I would love to. So I was like, I had every intention on coming up to Harlem to the Red Rooster, I'm saying names, fuck it. And I came up there and I had the money to pay for my drinks and his drinks and a meal. Now, mind you, I had this, but this was my last that I had. Okay, and I was just about to sit here and pay for it, and as I slipped it in, I saw him with the actual thing, and he told the waiter that he took care of the bill. Months later, we saw each other, and he was like, Yeah, we should go out again. You know, remember the last time we went to house my birthday? You know the one that I paid for? And see, it's shit like that. You see how I just dropped something? Well, because you weren't going to pay for it. I was actually going to, even though it would have put me in a bind, but I wanted to make sure it was your birthday, you had fun. I don't want to be in a situation where I'm have to feel like I have to do that in order to get someone to put myself out there in a way that's unappreciated because you don't know what that next person's last. You know, I live invoice to invoice, so you don't know what that means for me paying for this could be for me. But then if you paid, don't start with Back Up in My Face. Like, the fuck? Like, I'm in between blessings. Okay, that I get that part, but like, you in your early 50s, get it together.

SPEAKER_09 30:16

I want to be popular.

SPEAKER_03 30:20

And this is the popular series.

Representation: Cool Runnings And Black Excellence

SPEAKER_05 30:21

I think that at the end of the day, it's a different answer for everyone. I don't think there's a universal rule that can be applied to everybody, but I do think the thing that should be applied to everybody universally is to have a sense of what that other person's expectations are and then what your expectations are. And that's something that needs to be discussed a little more um widely at the beginning of relationships. I know it's kind of taboo to talk about money directly, but I think that if I think that eventually it does need to be discussed because you can't not address the elephant in the room. Absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 31:08

And I'm glad that you guys aren't so um materialistic. Macho tax return.

SPEAKER_03 31:15

If you're gonna ask me, if I'm gonna listen, I'll show you my my chart if you show me your tax return.

SPEAKER_05 31:23

My chart? What is happening? Both are equal. Show me both.

SPEAKER_03 31:29

Yeah, show me both. Uh both. Thank you so much. No, no, I'm just fine. I'm just fine. I'm just kidding. I'm just jiving, you know.

SPEAKER_05 31:37

Y'all ask different kinds of questions on the first date than I do. My God. No, no.

SPEAKER_03 31:41

Well, in my experience, and I wouldn't say the first date, like I don't ask any of these questions in the first day because I don't want you to ask me. That's the truth. Um but anyway.

SPEAKER_05 31:56

So seeing as how it is, Black History Month, um, I had the idea that we should talk about well, here's where the inspiration came from. It's Black History Month, but it's also the Winter Olympics 2026. And I saw a video earlier today that reminded me of a very pivotal childhood moment for me that I think a lot of people can relate to and is a universal Black experience. But I would love to hear from everybody, and I'll start. But if there's something that you can recall or a moment that you can kind of describe where you saw black people do you have a question, PJ?

SPEAKER_02 32:47

I have an answer.

Sports To Music: Breaking “Non-Black” Spaces

SPEAKER_05 32:49

Okay. PJ stood there with his hand up. Um, a moment that you feel like you saw black people in a different light, or specifically thriving in a non-black space. And my answer is this I I the movie Cool Runnings was so pivotal, pivot pivotal pivotal, Jesus Christ in heaven to me in so many ways. Number one, because well, first of all, just to set the scene for you, the first time I saw the movie, it was for my birthday. Um, my mom let me take four of my friends to the movies for my birthday, and the movie that we went to go see was Cool Runnings. And I'm sure most of our listening audience is familiar with the movie, but just in case you're not, um, spoiler alert, the movie is like a million years old, so if you haven't seen it, spoiler alert. Um there's um one of the main characters from the movie, so they're qualifying for the for the um for the Summer Olympics, and you know, Jamaica is known for, you know, track and field and cross country and running, you know, some of the fastest runners on earth. So they're in Jamaica and they're doing the qualifying run for the Olympic trials, and he's running, he's running, he's running. And then um another runner falls and trips like three or four people, and so those people were not able to qualify to go on to the Olympics because they fell and they couldn't finish the race, and so obviously their times did not qualify. And he was so devastated because his one goal, the only thing he ever wanted to do in life ever, was go to the Olympics, and it was so important to him, so so so important to him. So he's down in the dumps about it, he's having a terrible time about it. Eventually, he gets this idea that he can still go to the Olympics, it just won't be for running. And so he ends up forming a bobsled team so that they will qualify for the Winter Olympics. And they were the first ever Jamaican bobsled team, and you know, they were the underdogs, and they just made it to qualify for the Olympics, and they go through all this training, and it's him and you know, a bunch of the other people that all like fell that weren't able to go on for running, so they went on through um through bobsledding. And to me, that movie was just so I mean it's a comedy, but it's also like got meaning to it as well, because it it just really showed to me the dichotomy of black people. We can do literally everything, and we are in spaces that traditionally aren't meant for us because you see in the movie how when they first like got there, how everybody was looking at them sideways, like what are these black people doing here? What are these Jamaican black people doing here? Everybody has something to say, and then when they did their first qualifying race, they didn't do you know the greatest, you know, but they qualified, and so of course everybody has something to say about that. Like, I don't really know why they're here. I guess they can be here, but I don't really know why they're here, and then they ended up doing so well, and then um the turning point at the end of the movie was like um they were going through their last race, and um, I think I don't remember specifically, but something was wrong with their bobsled, and like part of like the the the bobsled broke, I think like the wheel came off or something like that, and so they were not able to um properly finish the race, and the bobsled like stops like you know, like a few meters away from like the finish line, just kind of like slid to like a breaking stop, and so they all got out of the bobsled and they picked it up and they carried it across. I'm getting emotional just talking about it. They picked it up and they carried it across the finish line, and I am, I'm sorry, it just kissed to me because it was just such like a you know, we can do anything in the face of adversary kind of moment, and it just, you know, it it the movie meant a lot to me, obviously, still does. So the whole reason I'm even like saying that is because like um earlier today I was watching a TikTok of a c of somebody commenting on the Jamaican Bob Sledder doing her qualifying run, and it was just it just brought back all of like the feelings and the emotions that I got from that movie. So again, it's just so pivotal, and I said it correctly that time, um but just seeing like black people thrive in a non-conventional black space, and I think that is so important for Black History Month slash the Olympics.

SPEAKER_03 37:57

So, so I'll can I can I go?

SPEAKER_02 38:00

Yes, yeah, can I go? Yeah. Uh I just want to I just want to make sure to ask you because you're the you're you know what?

SPEAKER_05 38:09

You're the what? The only other person here?

SPEAKER_02 38:16

I don't know, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 38:17

Um I have two uh two different two different genres, and I so I want to jump on the Olympics, and I want to say it's weird because it didn't apply to me, so to speak, but I I saw the representation of Dominique Dawes when she first became who she was, and like I fell in love with gymnastics and things of that nature because of Dominique Dawes, um, and which is where Simone Biles came, you know, got her, you know, every everybody comes, there's somebody who comes before everybody, and I think Dominique was like one of the first, if I'm not mistaken, as you're looking it up there.

SPEAKER_05 39:03

No, but she was I think she was she was one of the first celebrity black gymnasts.

SPEAKER_03 39:14

So like I I I I I love that when I started that's when I started feeling like, oh, black people do like this. Um as far as gymnastics, and you know, and then I started getting into ice skating and things of that nature. But there's a I will say there's another area, and it's in music. And um there's an artist that I'm so glad that they existed, um, and that is Dion Ferris. Um Dion Ferris had the song after she left um uh Arrest Development, you know, and she had that song uh called I Know, where I know what you're doing. Yay. And it for me, if anybody knows the song, doesn't know the song, sounds a little like this.

SPEAKER_09 40:07

I know what you do.

SPEAKER_03 40:12

I know why I don't know, and so for me, this song represented black people don't always have to listen to hip-hop in RB. Black people can listen to rap music, soft rock music, or whatever, country music, or but look great in doing all of these things. Black people can create a whole new category because they will they will make the seat like Beyonce has, and now there is a contemporary uh gospel uh section for awards, but you know, hey, you know, whatever. Now everybody can't be Beyonce, hey B. Um but it's things it's artists like that that opened the doors for me to explore other artists, and those other artists may not have been black, but I didn't think that it was a safe space for me as a black man growing up in Brooklyn, New York, to listen to this music until I seen her, Seal, um, Darius Rucker, you know, all these other people that were doing this kind of music, and I'm like, and I vibe with it. So, like, okay, I don't feel like the oddball out because look, there are a few of us there. So, like, what you doing listen to that white ass music? You know, and and now look at you sampling that white ass music. So, like, it's I I I give credit and I love it when we infiltrate spaces and make them better than they were when we left.

SPEAKER_00 41:50

Period.

Everyday Representation And Inspiration

SPEAKER_07 41:53

These are all really good answers. Um it's funny, um, as I'm sitting here listening to you guys, I could not I could not pinpoint any one particular thing because what I realized in this moment while you guys were going through that, um, I realized that I've always had pulses of the same feeling that you guys have, but just through different things. Like I remember being drawn towards or gravitating towards um different things because it might have a black character. So, like, for example, with Star Trek, if we go all the way back to, you know, the original Star Trek um series, you had Aurora, and then when you go into Star Trek Generations, there was Jordy McCoy. There was Wharf. When you went into Voyager, there was Two Box. So I always felt like there was somebody there, and I always took that to heart because as a as a nerd, um I always, as I, as a as a as a nerd, blurred, um, I always resonated with that. Like you can be smart and know engineering and know, you know, uh how to run a starship and so on and so forth. And so I find myself doing that often when it came to just various genres. So not just Star Trek, but like when Static Shot came out, like that was uh static shot is a black superhero and a kid at that. So I was just sort of like, oh, look at this, look at this brother with these locks and he's just flying around like saving the day or whatever it is. Storm, you see, Storm, you know, doing her thing. Like I always got drawn towards that. Um, and this just kind of further pushes why representation is so important because it may not necessarily be as overt as your guy, you guys are saying specific things uh or specific moments, but they could just be an underlying current that's like really important for you to be inspired or want to. Like just dream. You know, sometimes it's just about the dreamy aspect. That way you can get to the next level or to the next page or to your next day. Like you don't know what people are going through. Um, I also really enjoy too, if we're gonna go into the music category, I enjoy when we find people who are still to this day doing music just because they love music and just just because they so happen to be black. So I don't know if you guys ever heard of them, the infinity song. Infinity song. They are, I love their music. No, no, not that. But they they did they do um amazing songs like that you would not think or consider to be black, but when you look at them, they're um siblings, two brothers, two sisters, and they all sing together as a band. And when you go back into looking at some of their history, if I remember correctly, they um their father was uh a pastor and he did a lot of music. And so they were always around him when they did music. And so they just picked it up, and now they have concerts and they they do all of this stuff. I actually saw one gentleman, he was in Manhattan, he was just singing, like you know, classically singing by himself. But he's a part of this group, and I love their song London Foxes.

SPEAKER_08 45:27

They love to stalk and with their bark. They say don't go and know I just can stay. I must be on my way.

SPEAKER_07 45:39

It's just so like, you know, it's really it gives like summer vibes, like you just chilling out and just real fast paced, and it's and I I just love it. And so I love seeing that as well because to your point, Blair, we can do anything.

Radio Voices, Media Space, And Visibility

SPEAKER_05 45:56

And so I think the thing that I love I yield to the lady in the north. I think the thing that I love the most about what we're talking about is it might have started off with experiences that we felt were like I won't say rare, but like like you were saying, you know, PJ and I can kind of you know, like speak to specific moments where we where we are aware that was impacting us, and you're talking about how it was called kind of always like an undercurrent that was there, but you kind of recognized it when it when it came about. But I think the thing that ha is different now that is so just warms my heart is that it's not it's not the outlier anymore. It's not necessarily something that we're like, you know, not shocked by. You know, you can see something like you were just saying, you know, um a a a black singer in what has traditionally not been a black space, but you're just kind of like, well, yeah, you know, like that that vibes, that makes sense, like that's cool. And it's not like a oh my god, look at this black person over here in this non-black space just excelling. It's it's so common practice these days that it's not shocking anymore. And that's the vibe that like I love. Like it's it's normal, like it's definitely part of like everyday life. And that just that just sits so it makes me happy because I'm like that it shouldn't be a shock that we are so talented and that we can you know transcend against everything.

SPEAKER_07 47:41

But to your point, Blair, like there was another group that um I came across, it was a rock group, and it was an all-black rock group, and I mean they was killing it, and it just sounded so good. Now I was more like, and to the point where, and here's and here's talking about like the impact of it all, to the point where my dad had sent me them. I had seen them like maybe a couple of days before, and then he sent them to me randomly. He was like, Look at them. It was like they're they're killing it. They doing it. I did, I I I did see that, and they doing their damn thing.

SPEAKER_05 48:10

That's why this summer is about to be so lit when Beyonce drops her rock album. Now, what's gonna be hilarious is if it's not rock at all, because everybody's saying it's gonna be, and I'm sure that it is going to be, but um, it's gonna be, it's it's it's definitely become like this vibe of like, it's just gonna be great because she's a talented person, and talent is always what's going to shine through at the end of the day, no matter like what the outlet is. Talent is always gonna be talent.

SPEAKER_07 48:46

Has that been confirmed it is gonna be rock?

SPEAKER_05 48:49

Uh no, nothing's ever confirmed. Nothing's ever confirmed until she's on tour. Nothing is confirmed until she's gonna be. And for the last two albums, she's had she has put them out on the 29th. So everybody's saying that she's announcing the rock album May 29th, 2026.

SPEAKER_02 49:58

That's way too much conspiracy.

SPEAKER_05 50:00

I mean, but for me.

SPEAKER_03 50:01

She she's a Virgo, so that's what that's what we can expect because it's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_05 50:04

The thing, the thing with all of that sorry, go ahead, because that's off topic. But anyway, I look I look forward to the songs and the visuals.

Invitations, Community, And Next Steps

SPEAKER_03 50:13

I'm trying not to lose my train of thought, girl. Uh to to to go back to the conversation really quick, and a lot of that also includes in like why why I'm doing what we do what we do today. Like when I became interested in podcasting, um, like growing up and watching TV, your visual representation of what a radio DJ is is case. Welcome to Casey Case him and all of it, you know, all of that weird, you know, stuff that's like not weird, but it's just not centered towards us. And then hearing the quiet storm, and like realizing that all those people are black, they all sound like me, they I can do that. There's there's a space for a person with a voice like mine, and like I can use it in ways to make money and still have fun and enjoy music and enjoying people's company. Yeah, yeah, just error green. You know, I can do whatever it is I want to do, but you know, I I there's those spaces that I'm just so happy to know that. Um, and again, because I I'm I'm putting it into the I'm putting it into the the the universe. Uh she no longer works for 94-7 the block uh in New York. Uh Miss Jones had already asked us why hasn't she been on as a guest? So I am putting it on uh out there into the universe. For those of you who are listening, go ahead and tag her. Uh realize, let her know that she will be being requested for Women's History Month because this is also why women are important to hear on radio stations, to hear in media. Why is it important also not just for black faces, but for black women's faces as well.

SPEAKER_11 51:58

I wanted to let you know how much I adore and love you.

unknown 52:00

You're the reason why I got the podcast for you and love and everybody's tobacco today.

SPEAKER_11 52:05

I appreciate you. But for real, we're not gonna go past Libra thing. We got one more day, about 24 hours. Let's have it, and then we'll get to you.

SPEAKER_06 52:14

Well, first of all, I love you back, and I love your I love your kind spirit. That's why I love Libras. Y'all are so classy with the sassy. But I'm gonna need you to pack it up still. This day I saved the time for Libra. No, enjoy your birthday.

SPEAKER_11 52:31

Thank you, brother. Thank you, thank you. What's your podcast? Uh Hiley Melanated. Okay. Come on! Yeah, three of us. Highly melated. We've been doing it, we've been doing it for three years, buddy. We won't work on the podcast a year in 2020. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 52:45

Why haven't you invited me on?

SPEAKER_11 52:47

I mean, are you coming?

SPEAKER_06 52:49

You see your shady ass Libras. I really need a good thing, but I need the invitation to feel validated.

SPEAKER_11 52:58

You know the Scorpio. Yeah, I know. We need it. I'm a thing. I'm a Scorpio writer until I get it.

SPEAKER_06 53:04

Yes, thank you. All right. Happy birthday. Let's set up a date for me to pull up to Highly Melanated. I love that name. What kind of things do you talk about?

SPEAKER_11 53:12

Everything that affects our community. We have doers do a runner for the first tenant. You know, we're a little reactive, but we're we, you know, we have fun, but we still get there is the three of us. Um two of my front brothers and one of my um homegirls who's an actor on Statin Night Live and on the new TV No problem. So yeah, totally wonderful.

SPEAKER_06 53:30

Y'all got it popping.

unknown 53:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 53:33

So I will be reaching out to her assistant uh momentarily. I'm keeping us all in. Hey, Tarsha. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_05 53:45

Yes, I think that especially given the climate, it's important to remember the moments that are important to us and keep that in mind for what we want to project into the future.

SPEAKER_03 54:01

Well, thank you so much, y'all, for taking the time to listen to another episode of Highly Motherfucking Melanie.

SPEAKER_07 54:10

It's motherfucker.

SPEAKER_03 54:12

Okay. The safe space where it's all okay to Marty my garage.

SPEAKER_01 54:21

What?

SPEAKER_03 54:22

I don't know. I just looked up and saw Marty Gras.

SPEAKER_01 54:25

Not Marty my Gras.

SPEAKER_03 54:27

If you are out there for Marty Gras, please, I hope you had fun. You are safe. Please be safe. If you um by yeah, by the time I'm not sure when is Marty Gras is over, but I know it started today because I know Corey's out there, so son, be safe. Um, but for all of you beautiful black people, love yourself, love the skin you're in. And guess what? I'm gonna say this going forward, FYI, as my closer. So love yourself, love the skin you're in because it's yours.

SPEAKER_01 54:54

That's beautiful. As PJ says it with a flower on his head.

SPEAKER_07 55:00

You need to wear that flower more often.

SPEAKER_03 55:03

I'm gonna put it on my other hat because this hat looks, this makes it look way too gay.

SPEAKER_07 55:06

Um good day.

SPEAKER_05 55:09

Good day, good day. With that on that note, on that note, love, peace, and flowers. Feodoridum, feel the ride, come on, y'all. It's Bob's lead time.

SPEAKER_02 55:32

She really loves this movie.

SPEAKER_01 55:35

I think I might watch it before I go to bed.