Highly Melanated Podcast
Hosted by PJ, Blair & Red A safe space for you to enjoy every bit of your melanin no matter how "melanated" you are in skin tone, we are ALL Highly Melanated.Come enjoy funny and dynamic conversations that people of color face on a day to day basis with various topics such as loving ourselves, knowing who we are as a people and uplifting each other with a mix of class and rachetness (CLATCHETNESS)
Highly Melanated Podcast
Finding Purpose: Faith, Community, and Personal Reflections
***PREVIOUSLY RECORDED 11/27***
Can you imagine finding your true purpose in unexpected roles and experiences? Join PJ and Blair as they take the helm of the Highly Melanated Podcast while Red is exploring the vibrant culture of Ghana. We embark on a contemplative journey, reflecting on the enduring impacts of COVID-19 and the personal trials of feeling unseen. Blair's perspective on finding silver linings offers a beacon of hope, even in the toughest times. Together, we share gratitude and excitement for Red's return and the stories that will undoubtedly enrich our conversations.
Have you ever wondered how personal faith shapes your identity and decisions? Our discussion uncovers the profound influence of spirituality in our lives, from early introductions to faith to meaningful connections within a church community. As we navigate personal faith stories, we ponder the balance between faith and worry and how unexpected paths can align with our divine purpose. We encourage listeners to reflect on their spiritual journeys and how these experiences guide their daily choices and understanding of self.
Join us as we explore the whispers of inspiration that reveal our life's purpose. A chance encounter with a stranger recognizing divine qualities in us sparks a conversation on being vessels for positive change. We invite you to consider if your actions align with your will or a higher calling, and the comfort found in community prayer rituals that unite diverse backgrounds. With heartfelt discussions and introspection, we emphasize the importance of integrating faith into our lives and the fulfillment that comes from aligning our decisions with divine guidance.
Follow US
IG: https://www.instagram.com/highlymelanatedpodcast
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/H_MelanatedPod
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb2VbyoW6KaMxQo5onYluXA
IF YOU WANT TO BE A GUEST OR KNOW SOMEONE WHO WOULD BE A GREAT CHOICE, HIT US UP!!!
FEEL FREE TO EMAIL US @highlymelanatedpodcast@gmail.com
I don't know what it is, but I just love being black BJ here.
Speaker 2:What up doe? It's your girl, Blair. You know, Mel Melanin was popping yesterday, it's popping today and it's sure enough gonna be popping tomorrow.
Speaker 1:It's your boy, red, and you're listening to the Highly Melanated Podcast. Hey guys, guys, hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of highly motherfucking melanated podcast. The safe space where it is okay to condition, but yet unconditioned there you go okay, we gotta uncondition those old old habits and get us into where we are today. Pj is wishing that I was on the motherland going. I can't even do it, but I just wish I was there.
Speaker 2:I don't even know. Okay, blair is what am I? I don't even know what I am I. Blair is, uh is is grateful to have a warm apartment to come home to. At the end of the day, that's what I'm thankful for amen, amen.
Speaker 1:This pj is also a little unhinged because, as the one who drinks on the panel, I am the only one who is actually sipping on some wine right now. Uh, blair, as we know, does not drink and, unfortunately, fortunately it is the two of us, because our uh colorful individual is over in ghana right, setting off to other countries and shit, okay, jet setting.
Speaker 2:I mean, he said, and I'm out, who needs to be with child niggas? And in the interest of trying to maintain some type of regularity, we still felt like we needed to get an episode out to our listening audience, the ones who stick with us. So appreciate y'all. This one's for y'all.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, understand that, guys. You know I look at the numbers and I see how many of y'all actually download and since we've been so inconsistent, I do notice the dramatic change in our numbers. But we do appreciate those of you who do study, listen to us, who have been here either from the beginning or whenever you came on board.
Speaker 2:Um, so today it is just pj and blair red is out there, that is, in in in africa getting fed please, okay, he is he is wait.
Speaker 1:No, no, that's not it, but he is having a good time and much needed. Much needed, yes please.
Speaker 2:I'm expecting to him to come back with all the stories, with all the memorabilia and whatnot. I expect him to come back with something. So where's my gift?
Speaker 1:Okay, I'll try my best to fill his shoes, but in the meantime, how are you feeling this week?
Speaker 2:Um, well, we were just talking about that. Like it's so interesting, like I pretty much, you know, always am, you know, always on the positive side and everything's great and sunshine and rainbows, and even when it's not, you can still find something, something you know, positive, and I still feel that way. But I haven't been as uh uh inclined to execute that this week. I think it's just a combination of just being very tired and, um, having a lot going on and then not having access to the things that, like, I need in the moment as far as comfort goes. So that's been challenging. But with any challenge, you know, there and here comes the silver lining. But with any challenge there comes the opportunity for growth. So I am, I'm holding on to that.
Speaker 2:So Sinclair of you, oh my God.
Speaker 1:Stay tuned, y'all.
Speaker 2:Stay tuned. Stay tuned, Nadine, and how are you this week? Pj this week week.
Speaker 1:Okay. So, honestly speaking, this week has been very eye-opening in reference to um, more of like, how I see myself and how I see myself through the eyes of others. Um, today, and sidebar guys, we are recording this episode the day before Thanksgiving. Today I am feeling not so confident as I normally am in my Like, in my own skin. So I'll say that as we, as we record this podcast, and I'm trying to not let those feelings overtake me, but what are those feelings coming from?
Speaker 2:What are they rooted in? I think that's the thing that you have to figure out first is like see like what they're rooted in and be able to change your mindset surrounding that.
Speaker 1:They're rooting in not being seen, not being heard.
Speaker 2:And that's interesting Cause. Now you feel like you are being seen and I'm being heard.
Speaker 1:Sad to all of you listening to, because now you feel like you are being seen and I'm being heard.
Speaker 2:Sad to all of you listening to what you feel like you're being like, so, like, very seen, and now you're uncomfortable with it. Well, you know this. Um ha. This also kind of leads into what we're going to talk about today. Look at that. But I remember from a church service God, it was years ago. It had to be at least like five or six years ago, cause it was before COVID. Oh, sidebar, do you?
Speaker 1:isn't that wild that COVID was like 2020 was four years ago and so so like here's the thing I need people to understand, especially like after we just went through this election it takes about four years for things to actually take in place. During COVID was when we were like at the bottom of the bottom for a lot of our generations, experiencing a lot of different things and a lot of now. That's why prices are so high, because they're trying to recoup.
Speaker 2:We're just now coming out, yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, and so like people, it's so interesting how people blame certain, like regardless of who's sitting in office, like people blame but don't realize what, don't remember or choose to recall what happened. And Cyborg guys, we actually did record an episode last week. Unfortunately, as we were recording it, it did not save the entire episode and I kind of didn't want to put an episode out that was like halfway done, and I kind of didn't want to put an episode out that was like halfway done.
Speaker 2:So we had a really great conversation post-election but unfortunately you guys, you guys will never hear it, Unfortunately y'all never hear it and we can't recreate it and we won't.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, like I remember, this church service was that long ago because that's when I was still going to this church and that was before it was COVID or before 2020. But one of the things that he said during the service that still resonates, you know, to this day, was well, we'll talk about this. It wasn't necessarily a message that I think like was directed for me, although it impacted me and it's something that I remember. I specifically remember it because the person that I was with I really wanted them to hear it and tune into it.
Speaker 2:But basically, the pastor was saying that every thought that enters your head doesn't necessarily it isn't necessarily true. Like you get like negative thoughts that enter, you get positive thoughts that enter, and it's up to you to decide like which ones you're actually going to give like truth to, or like you're going to believe to be true about yourself. So, like what you're experiencing now, the things, the issues that you're having with, like the negative thoughts that are rooted in not being seen and not being heard, and whether you know that if it comes from like a negative place, you have to make sure that you take a moment to assess like well, yeah, I'm thinking these things, but are they true, are they not true? And then from there, decide how much you know energy. Attention, you're going to give thoughts that aren't true you know.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's see how I can spin this. So and and, and, because we don't have chris here with us. Question of the week.
Speaker 2:Question of the week your oh, are we, are we doing it wait? Questions are we doing it?
Speaker 1:made to us prospectively and introspectively. Did I do that right, chris? Please let us know. Let me know if I got it right. Um blair, let me ask you how different well, okay, question of the week is standing in your big self now, what is different about Thanksgiving that you saw before, like, let's say like, ok, see, obviously this is why we need Chris here, because I can't work questions right. When you think of Thanksgiving today, presently, now, is it different from how you thought of Thanksgiving before, when you were younger?
Speaker 2:Um, is it different? No, Like is like the thought of Thanksgiving. I mean, it obviously looks different than when I was growing up as far as like who I'm spending it with and what I'm doing, but the overall concept of Thanksgiving to me isn't different. What about you?
Speaker 1:You know. So it's a little different. For me, it's interesting because like is the concept, like what do we have to be thankful for, is different, but like the idea of like what we've been trained to feel or think about, like what Thanksgiving represents, which is when the pilgrims came to America and, you know, had a peaceful dinner with maize and rice and whatever.
Speaker 2:I was never taught to believe that story, so we were, you know.
Speaker 1:So like the idea of like the differences and I was just having this conversation not too long ago Like could they do a live action Pocahontas movie now without offending people, and so like the idea of what really is, they can't even make a live action Little Mermaid movie without offending people okay, shit the fuck, it's a fucking fish girl.
Speaker 1:She ain't even fucking real ridiculous. But so, like as we're like, so for me, like, I think that thanksgiving is different, only, um, now that I'm an adult, um, based on when I was younger, and when I was younger it was really about the food and sitting at the kiddie table. But as I've gotten older and got to sit at the adult's table, I realized that I want to go back to the kitty table.
Speaker 2:I think we all want to go back to the kitty table just in life, when things are simpler, when things are already figured out for you. You didn't have to. Really being an adult is hard, so, like you know, into the conversation that we're going to have.
Speaker 1:Fyi, everybody, this is going to be a quick, quick episode. We are.
Speaker 1:As PJ and I both already said, we are both in a mood today, and so here's the thing right, I think I've gotten better with knowing when I'm in these moods and communicating that I'm in a mood.
Speaker 1:So I said to a group of people now I'm in a mood right now, so forgive me if I say anything that may come off abrasive, but I'm in a really foul mood right now and back in the day I may have just come off abrasive and didn't care and then later explain why. So I think, like presently now, as I walk more into like PJ as an adult, I'm more into like opening up a space where I don't allow everybody completely in my personal space but I am comfortable enough to be present, knowing where I am and how I am presenting and how it can be perceived, versus just walking into a space and I don't give a fuck what you think, what you, what it is that you feel like I'm in a really I'm in a really sour space, and I was hoping that we was going to be able to record today, cause I think that every single time we record.
Speaker 2:Let's bring you out of that.
Speaker 1:Every single time we record, we bring me out of it and, looking at you, it really does help. Oh well oh well, oh well, I guess I'll do it. Um, but you know, so, like we, we've been talking, and so like again, when blair is unavailable, chris and I will do an episode.
Speaker 2:Um, when, when, when chris is unavailable, blair and I will do an episode and just so y'all know, if pj is unavailable, there will be no show, because pj is the producer, editor, director, uh videographer of this whole.
Speaker 1:I am just, I am just, I am just here, y'all.
Speaker 2:But lies, because if you weren't here, it's not going to get recorded, it's not going to get edited, it's just not going to happen.
Speaker 1:So y'all will not be getting an episode that week.
Speaker 2:I'm just I sorry listen.
Speaker 1:I'll try my best to make sure I'm available. Only be really most sure, because I do know that there are listeners out there that do download us every week, which, once again, we are grateful for you, um, and I'm tired of getting dms when we're not available, like, hey, are you releasing an episode? And I don't share this with y'all, but I do get a maybe five to like eight messages in my personal dms asking it would be great if you would. I, all of you would sign on to the highly melanated one, send us messages there. But we can only do what we can do, hey, look. So in the interim of chris not being here, I thought, I thought about, like, what could blair and I really talk about? And we've been thinking about talking about and I think we're gonna go into deeper an episode when chris is available, um, for us to talk about this. But, um, both of you, both of us, are um individuals that walk by faith, and I'm not as prevalent in it as Blair is.
Speaker 2:But I am. We all are. Everybody has their own unique relationship with the Lord.
Speaker 1:And so thank you for starting it off Like so, like I think that this country as a nation, as people, we individualize and expect everybody to have the same relationship that we do have with with who we have, who we call our God and our savior. So my my first question to you, before we even get into like the real topic of today, because this is going to be a short episode, guys, just let you know. But my question to you is like so when did you meet Jesus? I mean we paused two part question when and how did that moment change how you view yourself?
Speaker 2:I mean, I've always had a relationship with God, ever since I was like a kid, like growing up, but my family wasn't the type of family that went to church every Sunday like we rarely ever went to church, um.
Speaker 2:So I didn't start developing it and I went to a private Catholic middle school so I guess that's when I really first started developing a more individual relationship with God. But it didn't really blossom until after I moved to North Carolina and I started going to a church out there. And I don't even really remember. I just remember some of the people at the college I worked at UNC, chapel Hill, and I remember some of like my colleagues were telling me about how they were telling me about this church they go to and how amazing it is and how great the pastor is. And I was like, ok, I'll check it out. And I went one Sunday and like fell in love with it because it was just so his style and I and that's still the same church that I subscribe to today, even though I don't live there anymore I'm a bedside Baptist. I tune in every Sunday.
Speaker 1:So all you bedside Baptists out there, hey look, we are a great congregation.
Speaker 2:And you know there is. Obviously we can get more into this like later, but you know there is something to be said about like being in the room, um, in church on Sunday. There's there's a lot to that, but when I started going to that church in North Carolina, um, that's what really propelled my relationship with God very much forward. Um, I really appreciate this style of preaching that pastor Andy has. It's very educational and relatable, so like he'll take like a scripture and literally like just break it down for you to be able to like really understand it. And it's not just a concept, it's something that you can actually like take and apply to your everyday life. So, yeah, if that answers your question, like it really started to like really like flourish in I guess that was 2008. And I think it really started like helping me just define who I was and get a real understanding of, like the type of person that I wanted to be.
Speaker 1:Right, right, you know. So it's interesting because, like you know, I tell people all the time my, my mother, is an ordained minister and I wasn't raised in a church, um, but I was raised around Jesus. So, like I wasn't, I was raised with beliefs. I was raised with a slight understanding, without actually understanding Right, and as I've gotten older, I went through. I went through many stages of, like you know, joining the church because your family said so, joining a church because your partner is in church, joining a church because it's the right thing to do, and these are three different churches.
Speaker 1:I'm speaking of um, me presently, right now I do not have a church home. I've been actually like looking into it and I think it's mostly based on because of the other job that I have, working in funeral services. Shout out to, I know I've mentioned before a certain person from a funeral home that was be willing. He is too shy to come on, but we have two backups so they will be on talking more about it and I think that as I move further into the career or funeral direction, I, by nature, like by second hand, I'm getting more and more messages that I need to get and so, like, it made me think and I was actually thinking about this and when I was, when Chris said he was going to Ghana, he was going to be available for the next recording, and I was well, what can blair and I can talk about? And not to say that chris and I could, chris and all of us couldn't talk about it, but I know chris doesn't really go to church in the same way and doesn't really.
Speaker 1:You and I are more closer when it comes to like our religious backgrounds and how we see how we see certain things um um, in in the, in the world of face, um and again, chris, when you hear this, I'm not knocking you, I'm just I was, you know, thinking and it just worked because, like the stars were doing things, things were moving. We were leaving a, a virgo moon, and now we're in a Sagittarius moon, blah, blah, blah. Y'all don't need to hear this. Blair's looking confused, but it really got me thinking, like, where is our faith and what are we? What messages and I think I might want to continue this when Chris comes back, this, when Chris comes back, like, what messages are we getting out there? That is helping us push through the everyday aspect of being an adult.
Speaker 2:You know, I think one of the things to also address with that is so often people feel like they are getting messages or they are, you know, like hearing a word, but not everything is God.
Speaker 1:So I can insert this here. So in here I'm inserting the God. So when, when people come to you, all right, the God. So when, when people come to you, all right. So if, for those of you who are listening now, it was I saw this video on Instagram that said when people walk up to you and said, jesus told me to tell you like no, no, no, no, jesus. Jesus wouldn't talk to you first. God would come to me first and then tell me what like. I think that's also what sparked and then tell me what like, um, I think that's also what sparked, sparked this interest in having this conversation now with you, because we each have our own individual relationship with our god, um, and it's not it's not to knock each other's relationship, but that's, I think, what relationships with our higher power should be definitely I.
Speaker 2:I mean that's the thing it's like. Well, so we were talking before about, like you know, specific, like verses or sayings or just like comforts, comforting phrases, that like kind of help us like through things. So you know, you said before like that's one of my favorite ones, like we belong to those who walk by faith and not by sight. You know that's my favorite Bible verse is Hebrews 10, 39. And it's, but we do not shrink back and are afraid. We belong to those who walk by faith and not by sight. So it's really just about being able to take the word of God and the will of God and just apply it in your everyday life. And like what I was saying before was like not everything is god telling you x, y and z? Um, I know a lot of times like people like to like put that out there, like well, this has to be god.
Speaker 1:No, god is telling me to tell you, bitch no it.
Speaker 2:it really takes you really kind of like doing the work to be able to to hear god's voice and just not assume that everything is god like because you're you're getting you were. That's what the world is. The world is always talking to you. The world is always like sending you messages. The world is always like trying to get your attention. The devil is always trying to get your attention in one way or the other, and it's up to you to really be able to disdain, like what is the voice of God and what isn't, you know, and so often, like we want to gravitate towards like the things that we ourselves want, and just be like oh well, this is God, you know, because it ends up feeling you feel like it ends up serving you at the end of the day. But that's not always the case either, and I know we were talking about this before and I was just wondering if I still had it in my notes in my phone and I actually do so when I was saying that I went to that church service, it was December 1st of 2019. And I wrote it down because it was that powerful, and so basically, he was saying you need to know where you need the most work and begin to educate and protect yourself.
Speaker 2:And he's, he kind of explained this thing called the thought interrogation system and so, like, when thoughts like enter your mind, you have to kind of send it like through a checklist If it's something that, like, you feel, like you like struggle with, you know, like negative thoughts or whatever. So, like, the first thing is you have to ask yourself is this thought true? Second question is is this thought 100% true, like, is it absolutely true, absolutely true? The third thought is how does it make me feel? And the fourth one is how would I feel if I didn't think this? And then he um categorized it, he called it, he called it an ants, an ants, so automatic negative thoughts, um.
Speaker 2:So it's like a system to just kind of go through, to be able to like check yourself on what's true and what's not true before it sends you spiraling. You know, and it's also related to and that's the thing that I love too he would always relate it to a Bible verse for you to be able to like hold on to. And so this one was Romans 8, 28,. That says and we know that in all things, god works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. So that's one of the things that I really hold on to at the end of the day, especially like on days like today, what I feel, like, the way that I'm feeling, and I'm sure um you as well but like, yes, make sure that you are really just hearing whether or not something is God or if it's you so you know.
Speaker 1:So, okay, so, when I had this conversation, when I had this idea in my mind, so I, you know, I I thought about it and I remember seeing something, um, and so, if you guys who are listening, hey, you guys um, the idea that I had in my head was what messages have you received from preachers, or just like going to church, or things that you may have seen on your internets, um, without reading the comments, um, that have stuck with you in a way that has helped mold you, and I think one of them has really been, um, them has really been about what is for me, is for me, and I have, because I took notes.
Speaker 1:Oh, now, notes, you know I love notes. I will not be one to sit here and quote Bible scripture, so I will never be that guy. You have listened to me long enough to know that I'm not that guy and I'm not going to be somebody I'm not going to be. However, my belief, my faith, what I call religion and I think maybe down the road we'll get into another conversation about this it doesn't, and I think that's that's. The beautiful thing about this podcast is that all of us do not have to agree on one thing we all have our different.
Speaker 1:We all have different perspectives on things and different perspectives, different life experiences, but the thing is is that we all respect each other. Exactly, and that's the, that's the part being able to voice those different opinions and perspectives.
Speaker 1:That's the part that that is the most important, especially when it comes to our community being able to understand that we again are not a monolith, like we do not all agree with the Black Baptist Church, we all do not agree with the Black AME Church, we all do not agree with the Kojic Church. There are different aspects of it. That blah, blah, blah. And I remember seeing one that said holding as I'm pulling it up, it basically okay for time because I'm just having the word Go ahead, pull it up. It basically okay for time.
Speaker 2:for time, because I'm just having the work, go ahead, pull it up, find it.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, Because I also don't want to. I don't want to hold this past a certain time. Plus, I'm having I'm also having something delivered here at the same time.
Speaker 2:Oh, excuse me.
Speaker 1:And I'm watching it on Uber. I'm weak.
Speaker 2:Is it a pizza? It is? Is it a pizza? It is? Is it a Domino's pizza? You?
Speaker 1:watching that Domino's pack or three, I knew it.
Speaker 2:As soon as you said, because it tells you. It's like oh, so-and-so, just put your pizza in the oven. I, literally So-and-so is baking up cheesy crusted. Goodness for you.
Speaker 1:I'm watching him coming from, because I ordered this from downtown Brooklyn to come to where I'm at. I'm watching it actually as it's on its way.
Speaker 2:I see his beautiful white screen. Okay, there we go. Hey, Wheats.
Speaker 1:You see where it's at all the way up there.
Speaker 1:So I'm watching it effectively, and once it comes I'll be like, oh, please, but anyway, so there was this one thing about like the idea of giving and I saw this on instagram too, and it was so interesting that a lot of these creatures and a lot of these things that have been attaching to me or like really getting to me are during funeral services and and it's because I'm working in the funeral business but it was the idea of when we give it to God and then we worry about it.
Speaker 1:So now we're taking it away from what we gave to God, and now we're worshiping the thing that we are trying to get away from. That we are trying to get away from so, like, this is the problem. I'm praying for God for a solution, but I'm still worrying about the problem. So, therefore, we are worshiping the problem and putting more emphasis on the problem than waiting for the solution that will be revealed to us when it's meant to be revealed.
Speaker 2:Because that's the thing it's, like you're supposed to be able to just give it to God so that way you don't have to worry about it. That means don't think about the problem, because, obviously, like, it's a real problem and it's something that's going to be on your mind, but the idea is to not is to detach the emotion of worry from it, because it causes, like, all kinds of anxiety and stress and, you know, does a whole number on you. And the whole reason why you give it to God is because you have faith that he'll be able to work it out in your favor. So after that, after you give it to him, the idea is for you to just be able to just put your hands up and be like OK, lord, I'm ready for you to show me the solution. Let me pay attention to what the problem is, let me be aware of what's going on, but I'm not going to worry about it.
Speaker 1:And so there was one thing that really got to me and you know I've been talking a lot about this, especially on this podcast about like myself, pj Philip James, and all the different monikers that I have about like walking in purpose and like moving in purpose, and I saw this one that said purpose. Is it purpose that is confusing you, or is it glorifying the purpose that is minimizing you?
Speaker 1:we're so focused on, like making sure that we are fulfilling purpose, that we are like going straight forward into that. But purpose is revealed to us. Like me thinking about becoming a funeral director is not because this is something that I've always wanted to do, but me thinking about it has become me talking to families and saying how the moments that we have spent together has been beneficial and has helped them in that short period of time in thanking me. So maybe this is purpose, maybe this is god saying you are here to do this in this moment. Let's see what you can fully do in this moment. Whether or not I will become one is still up for grabs, because I've listened to all the school work and everything and I literally can't do anything else but go to school for this, like I can't. I can't teach.
Speaker 2:You have to be able to come in. I can't eat.
Speaker 1:I can't drive, I literally have, because it's a lot of, it's a lot of schooling, it's a lot. It's like three years.
Speaker 2:Start to sacrifice for long term gain.
Speaker 1:And so, so this is why you my casts. So there's another one that says about god gives visions in the valleys, not the mountaintops. Okay, so goosebumps I don't know if y'all let me repeat this god gives visions in the valleys and not the mountaintops and the mountaintops we're always thinking about.
Speaker 1:this is, this is where it is, and I'll have a vision to lead people. But no, you can't be led until you've been like down in the dumps, and I think that lately for me individually again, I'm only speaking on behalf of me as I chase this pizza.
Speaker 2:Leave me alone.
Speaker 1:Stop judging me me.
Speaker 2:Y'all, I'm not going to be mad at you. I doored Ash Levine's last night. It is two blocks away.
Speaker 1:I have really been thinking more so about like what is it that God would have me do?
Speaker 2:so that's the thing you know, and it's so important to just like have like some quiet time and be able to spend time really thinking about like what that is and letting him answer.
Speaker 2:You know, and I think the other issue is, like we always like expect an answer like right away, you know, but it takes patience to hear the voice of God too.
Speaker 2:I think people forget that a lot of times and sometimes it requires like having like these conversations multiple times for you to be able to to get it, because I know I've been through that scenario a lot God has had to have a few conversations with me before I finally moved on something. You know, it got to the point where I think and I've talked about this before but just like with committing to doing the whole, like modeling and acting thing, like it really got to the point where, like he took away every other scenario, every other option for me to make it plain that this is what he wanted me to do, you know. So sit with that, definitely sit with that, like you said, like you're already there, just you know, take some time to really just kind of think about, like you know, that question and see what, see what answer you feel like you get. Do you feel that?
Speaker 2:you at any given time are ever being led away from what you thought you believed was right for you, based on um I think that's such a complicated question it, it, it is, but I'm trying to simplify it um I mean, I guess the simple answer to that is yes, we're all tested, we're all tempted in some way or another. Temptation is a bitch and go get your pizza.
Speaker 1:You can keep going for the time being. I will be back. Ladies and gentlemen, I don't even know how to get this out the show. No, he's a block away, not yet.
Speaker 2:I'm weak look.
Speaker 1:I am tracking, I am hungry, I am not even going to show Blair what I ordered.
Speaker 2:but I am tracking this. I am hungry, tracking the pizza like a dance soccer.
Speaker 2:I am not even going to show Blair what I ordered, but I am hungry, hey look it beats like that, but the simple answer is we're all tempted, we're all tested in some way or another and I think to a degree we all kind of fall into temptation. That takes us off what our intended path is. But the great thing about God is that he is a forgiving God and you can always. You can always come home. You can always come home. There is not anything that you can do or say that he, that if you repent, he will not. He will not embrace you with open arms, and that goes for Trump too.
Speaker 1:Listen, repent for your vote. Um so white women, um, if and I'm directing this directly to white women Um, all right. So as I go run downstairs to get my pizza, uh, let me ask you a question really quick and maybe you can answer this by the time I'm downstairs to the upstairs. Has there been a moment where you doubted what a message was given to you and you realize later down the road that you should not have doubted? Discuss, yeah.
Speaker 2:I guess it's PJ. I guess what PJ is asking is are there times when you have gone against what you felt like you should be doing and then later regretted it? I personally try my best and obviously I'm human so, and to be human is to err but I really do try to live my life with no regrets. So that also means that I do take a while before I make a decision about something and sometimes I do sit on things for a little bit too long. But that's because I want to make sure that I'm comfortable with you know the consequences that might come out of that action and the positive results that also might come out of that reaction. I'm comfortable with accepting the consequences and the rewards either way.
Speaker 2:But I'm sure that there is well like, for example, like I was saying before, just the fact that you know it did take me so long to commit to a different lifestyle than what I had been doing. You know, working like the corporate, like nine to five thing, and then, just like you know, taking like a big risk and a big leap to go into, you know, a totally different career field and obviously that has paid off for me very well and in dividends. But for so long I avoided doing it because I was scared. For the most part I didn't really know if that was for me or if I was meant to do it or if you know I should do it. But at the end of the day I always make sure that whatever decision I do make, I do talk to God about it and I do have a conversation with him so that way he can provide me the answer or provide the comfort and the reassurance and the guidance to be able to make you know the decision that he wants me to make.
Speaker 1:So I will listen back to that and find out all the wonderful things you said I just I am out of breath, y'all, or floor will walk up, but really quickly um you can send me other questions.
Speaker 2:What about you?
Speaker 1:what did? Did I ask? I forgot.
Speaker 2:Lord have mercy. Well, let me ask you a question If you, how much do you involve God in your decisions? And I'm wondering just like to what degree and and why?
Speaker 1:that's a good question. Um, I'll say this I involve God in questioning my questions. That doesn't sound right In the initial question. I don't. I'm going to be very honest. The initial question is about me, and then the secondary question is what is it for me to have Based on? You know like I want this, but here's what you need. I want to do this, but here's what you should do.
Speaker 2:And here's what you have been ordained to do, and when you're thinking about this should do and ordained to do, like, where does that come from?
Speaker 1:as of lately, um, I've been listening more to what that silent voice in me is saying and that's god to me. So the, the whispers in the late of night, the dreams that I have, the things that when I grab a pen, and the first thing I start to write which shout out to Apple. This episode is not sponsored by Apple, but it could be Okay. I bought my Apple Pencil today, right, perfect example. I bought it at the downtown Brooklyn location, downtown by brick, and I was getting ready to go home when your pizza just came from Chop please. So I said, you know, I'm going to head home. But I stopped off in Prospect Park and I got me a sandwich from one of the stores in the area, which by far made one of the best sandwiches I've ever had, like a turkey and cheese on sweet bread, not a sandwich, a sandwich, turkey and cheese with double cheese. Um, and I sat there and I began to write, um, and like, I'm glad about the apple pencil now because I can, like this is from chris, shout out to you.
Speaker 1:Um, I started jotting down whatever came to mind as it came to mind and questions I began to ask myself was, you know, like, where am I moving Right now?
Speaker 1:We're, and we're going to move it back to like PJ mode. You know, we're entering a Sagittarius new moon and in this phase for me, it is crying for me to figure out what my next phase is. I was listening to the pattern and it really got me and it was saying right now, where are you, where do you want to be and what choices should you make to get there? The first thing I did was I, I, I, and I don't do this often and I probably, you know, will be hit with bricks about this, but I prayed um, and I do not pray often, um, only because I don't want to constantly give god my, my woes. I like I want to come to him when, when I really need um or when I not. I want to come to him when I need him, cause that sounds selfish, um, but it is, in a way, but like these, this, only he can fix the problem that I'm thinking of.
Speaker 2:I'm going to let you finish, go ahead.
Speaker 1:All right and so, like, I can constantly make the decision what's right for me? What's right for me based on what my family says, what's right for me based on what other people have said, but what is right for me according to what you say. Like, I am here because you put me here. What is my purpose to be put here? I know I'm to be of service.
Speaker 1:I came to that revelation a long time ago based on a conversation I've had with God that my purpose and this is after me, talking to people, countless people, who have told me that things that they have walked away from or done or changes in my life is because, after the conversation that we have had, which is basically god walking through me, using me to be a vessel to help them, be a catalyst for change, and I realized that.
Speaker 1:So I asked them what is for me is is funeral direction the thing for me? And god is still not giving me a full on answer about that yet but it is for me to still continuously do things community based, and I've asked God over and over again and have not gotten a straight answer yet, and the straight answer only comes from like. I don't know if it's the same way for you, but it's like it's not just confirmation from like previous conversations or, like me, you will have a conversation that like oh my god, I was just thinking this, but it's like confirmation, in a way, that's undeniable and that it's yet to show itself in any aspect when maybe some other things have to fall in place first.
Speaker 2:you know, that's the thing I think we're always in, like such a rush to get an answer now, you know, but maybe he's in the process of answering you, but there's also like some, some things that need to be arranged first. And just to go back to what you were saying before, by no means am I any type of you know ordained anything. I just know, you know, like, just in, like, then this is just us having a conversation, but please don't be afraid or feel any type of hesitation to go to God with everything.
Speaker 1:Like with everything.
Speaker 2:I know you said before like you only really want to go to him about the big things, like, and then you even said the words like I only want to go to God when I need him. Oh, that sounds selfish. That's not what I mean. Our God is a selfish God. He is selfish, okay. He wants all the praise. He wants all the praise, he wants all the admiration. He wants all. He wants all. He wants you to be so focused on him that you come to him with everything, like everything big, small, it doesn't matter Like you can. So I guess I and that's kind of like where the original motivation behind my question was was, I think, like if we just start making like those like small changes and just involve God more in our everyday anythings like it ends up having like a it builds up and ends up making a bigger difference at the end of the day a lady said to me a couple of days ago and it had me.
Speaker 1:I stopped at the stoplight like I was. I was crossing the street, um, and I don't know how long she's been following me, I don't know how long she was there, I don't know but she walked up me, walked up to me and said I see the god in you, continue to do what it is that you're doing. These kids again random. These kids need to see that in you and they are watching you. Yeah, you and this, these and I stood there at that. Stop like that. Does this bitch know that I teach? Excuse me by saying bitch, but does this lady know that I teach? No, does she know anything about me? No, does she overhear a conversation? No, but what she did know is whatever God said to her. And again, I will lead this off with that one video where the lady said God told me to tell you, god is not going to talk to you, to you through me.
Speaker 2:That's what I said to my stalker, because he said that God God said that we was going to be God did not copy me on that memo. He did not. He did not.
Speaker 1:But what he, what he or she has done, and again, again. So, like, I have different beliefs and so, like what God, the higher power, has always said to me, is that, like, my purpose here is which is and this is the problem that I have, and we can talk about this offline and I know we're going to wrap this up God has given me a lot of purpose for other people, but not for me, and that's the problem that I have right now and that's what I'm trying to console with and I'm trying to like, find how does this? What does this mean? Because I can't just be here to help others and no one like what is for me Like? Am I just for like? Am I just community property, like? So I need further clarification and I have yet to receive that. So until I receive that, I won't move forward. Until I go any like, I won't make any major decisions about things.
Speaker 2:Spend more time. Spend more time and then some of that stuff might become clear. Maybe, maybe the reason why, like you, haven't like had that realization yet is because there is there is the opportunity to spend more time with him my mother would love this episode.
Speaker 1:Even though she will never listen to an episode that she does, we do Shout out to the mini episode.
Speaker 2:As I say, you haven't put an explicitive, she won't listen. A mom blocker in in a while.
Speaker 1:So as we close this out. I want to lead you guys our listening audience as we close this out. Um, I, I want to lead you guys our listening audience. Um, as we miss chris, um, I, I want you to think of you.
Speaker 2:Question of the month um because because the month is over, it's november it's about to be december that's it. The next episode we record will be in december, so okay question of the month.
Speaker 1:Have you been moving in your will or god's will? Drop one of clues bombs right there, baby, because that's that's what I'm dinger and and and here's a deeper sub question about that who does your will, who does your will serve? Does it serve you or does it serve the glory, the bigger purpose about God, which is about service to others?
Speaker 2:So I feel like this is yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm done with you. Ladies and gentlemen, she is giving me the finger taps.
Speaker 2:The finger taps honey the finger taps or the claps. That's tea, that's tea, that's tea, that's tea, and it's hot, iping hot.
Speaker 1:What are you? Is there anything you want to say to anybody? Let's say there's someone tuning into us at this moment, who has been listening to us from the longest time or the shortest time, and they are at a crossroads.
Speaker 2:Anytime you're at a crossroads, I think it's important to take a moment, to take a step back, assess the situation and I mean we're human so we have to work out our own thoughts and whatnot about things. But at the end of the day, before you move down one side of the road to the other, have a conversation with God about it, bring him into it, invite him into the situation, have him be present in that situation or in the room or in your life, invite him into your life, invite him into your mind, help him to ask him to help guide your thoughts, so that way you can have reassurance in whatever decision that you do end up making. Because I think that that's always like the issue for me, or was for me, was. I want to make sure that whatever decision I make, it's something that I can have confidence in, and the only way I can have confidence in decisions is if God is in it. If he's not in it, then I don't want nothing to do with it.
Speaker 1:I need him there it's crazy because you say that and my response to that for me is it's very similar, but not is.
Speaker 1:Not just is god in it, but do you see the God in me moving through it? I was having this conversation with my students today and I was telling them like we're finally they it's right here, they got it together Like I've. I you know I've taught, so for you listening audience, I'm holding up a folder that for my high school that I was teaching today and they gave me all of the things and today we moved through something and we actually finally finished the script and I asked them and I asked them just like this so I asked you to ask yourself is what you're creating a representation of you or is it a representation of what you believe? So, if you believe this to be true, if you believe whatever it is that we're about to record, we're about to film, this is for my students. If you believe that this to be true, is that great. But if it is a representation of you, does that make it right or wrong?
Speaker 2:And you know, I had it on my, my instagram, the bio about me, for the longest time, but it was, um, if you want to know me, know god, because to know god is to know me, and that's I. I feel like that's like the interpretation of like what you're saying. Like is it you know? Is it you or your will like what's like the interpretation of like what you're saying. Like is it you know? Is it you or your will Like what's being represented here?
Speaker 1:There's a song by India Iria. I See the God in you, and anybody I get into a relationship with, interact with you as my friend, anybody else who I can do. I see the God in you. Do I see the purpose in you? Do I see the positivity in you? Do I see the encouragement in you? Do God in you Do I see the purpose in you? Do I see the positivity in you? Do I see the encouragement in you? Do I see the upliftment in you? Do I see the weight in the water? Because the trial is not here. Everything is on the other side in you. What is it in you that is making me a better person and what is it in me that is helping other people to become better people? Anyway, I'm just running off at the mouth. We've extended our time.
Speaker 2:PJ eat his pizza it really is.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to another episode of highly mother melanated oh, it's not appropriate here today.
Speaker 2:Is it the only day okay?
Speaker 1:mother-melanated. Oh, it's not appropriate here today. Is it Today's the only day where I'll be like mother-melanated?
Speaker 2:Melanated. Hey look, you know God ain't done with me yet.
Speaker 1:The safe space where it is okay to admit that God isn't done with me yet.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:Oh, not the ding, that just came randomly. When I tell you right now confirmations come from me in sounds, and I tell this all the time, and then people don't understand it when I say this, the way God moves through me is through movement of other things, and things happen like that, like that ding. Huh, it was just a random text message, but but the point was that it came at the end of a sentence pay attention pay attention he knows how to talk to you there, there are ways that god talks to us all.
Speaker 1:Um, and remember, the way he talks to me is not necessarily different from me.
Speaker 2:You know to me how he talks to you.
Speaker 1:We're all different and I think the part about religion that we all don't understand or we we've been, you know, we've been misled is that, um, in my opinion, is that our relation? Okay, our relationship is our relationship. You know, I don't pray. I don't pray out loud, I'm not one of those persons that have to pray out loud. I can pray to myself, and it could be five to ten words, you know, but the don't pray, I don't pray out loud, I'm not one of those persons that have to pray out loud. I can pray to myself, and it could be five to 10 words, you know, but the person who prays out loud says a whole soliloquy of things. Are you doing it for yourself? Are you doing it for other people? Anyway, on that note, someone, as you may know, yeah.
Speaker 1:Love pizza. I wonder what that pizza tastes like.
Speaker 2:Let's go ahead and bless PJ's food. Father God, we should have blessed your food before you eat it.
Speaker 1:God is good, god is great.
Speaker 2:And we thank him for this food by our heads. Let's all be fed. Give us Lord our daily bread Amen.
Speaker 1:It's the fact that we all have the same prayer.
Speaker 2:We all as a community, we all had the same dinner prayer, we all had the same food prayer and the prayer at night. Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and should I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. Amen, it's a universal experience. I'm out of here, bye.