Highly Melanated Podcast
Hosted by PJ, Blair & Red A safe space for you to enjoy every bit of your melanin no matter how "melanated" you are in skin tone, we are ALL Highly Melanated.Come enjoy funny and dynamic conversations that people of color face on a day to day basis with various topics such as loving ourselves, knowing who we are as a people and uplifting each other with a mix of class and rachetness (CLATCHETNESS)
Highly Melanated Podcast
Juneteenth Reflections: Journey to True Freedom
Technical difficulties couldn't keep us down! After losing three fantastic episodes, we're back and determined to reconnect with you. We catch up on all the conversations we missed, from hilarious pop culture moments to personal stories that will have you laughing and nodding along. Each of us shares a song lyric that perfectly captures where we are right now, offering a genuine glimpse into our lives as we balance the chaos of life with our passion for podcasting.
Ever felt like someone was trying to take over when it's clearly not their place? We sure have, and we're venting about it. Join us as we unpack the frustration of dealing with "takeover spirits" and discuss the delicate balance between leading and delegating. Blair and I get into it about whether to let people learn from their mistakes or step in to save the day. Plus, we celebrate Juneteenth and talk about what it means for us as a community, from historical significance to the ongoing journey toward real freedom.
Success isn't a limited resource, and we're breaking down the barriers that make it seem like it is. We tackle the harmful "crabs in a bucket" mentality and talk about how we can all win together. From setting professional boundaries to embracing free thinking, we're advocating for a more empowered and financially literate Black community. And yes, social media's role in racial bias? We're not shying away from that conversation either. Tune in for a mix of serious reflections, laughs, and most importantly, a call to action to engage with us and your own communities.
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Welcome back, guys, to another amazing episode of Highly Melanated Podcast with your hosts Red PJ and Blair. That's as far as I got.
Speaker 2:I don't know why. For some reason it just gave me vibes. I forget what the name of it was. But, if you remember us, stay by the bell.
Speaker 3:Yes, casey Kasem, that's my brother Welcome back to another episode of Highly Melanated the.
Speaker 2:Black Attack is back.
Speaker 1:Nailed it, got it.
Speaker 2:Hey guys, we missed you. Hey y guys, we missed you?
Speaker 3:Hey, y'all, we missed you guys. What's up? Niggas? All right. So in full disclosure, guys, we have been away for a while, but the truth of the matter is we have really not been away because we've been trying to come back, but there have been some technical difficulties. Oh my gosh, We've technical difficulties.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, every time we've recorded.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, can I hear it? Because I feel I want to speak on it.
Speaker 2:Go right ahead please.
Speaker 1:For all of our amazing audience members out there. We tried two, three, three, two, three. We tried three times to come out with content for you and it was three amazing episodes. And zoom was it a zoom problem? I don't even know if it was zoom yeah okay, we're gonna blame them. Sorry, zoom, you have to take, you have to fall on the sword for this one. Sorry, not sorry. Sorry, not sorry did not record everything.
Speaker 3:It recorded it halfway through each episode, I think the last episode it just didn't record it at all so the problem, the real problem, was like it it recorded up until we started getting into the conversation, so like you guys would have gotten our like little chill before the talk. The topic and then all right guys we're gonna talk about today click do you know?
Speaker 1:do you know, like that, that the last time that it recorded like I, I realized that it recorded I and of course we were all upset. I know that you, pj, you was like really upset. I didn't even bother to ask you because I knew I was going to get fucking mad and break some shit, because I was just, you know, it's it's a couple of hours of editing and like putting our heart and soul and our minds and however we feel into it, and I just did not even want to be bothered with this. So I I'm sorry, pj, for not reaching out and making sure that you were OK, I was not OK.
Speaker 3:Blair knew I wasn't. Blair knew I wasn't OK, because I was sitting at this point.
Speaker 2:Pj was about to throw himself out the window and I was like Lord have mercy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know I'm sensitive, so I was like I'm on the verge of tears right now because I think it's a conspiracy against it. But out, because I think it's a conspiracy um against it, but we're trying three good episodes, and that's what you know, and I think that we're actually gonna, at some point in time, maybe try to circle back to those no time soon well, it would have to be quite some time because at this point, like I, just we'd have to have.
Speaker 2:It's gonna be like a year from now where I have the conversation conversation. I yeah, otherwise I'm gonna feel like I'm trying to recreate what we did before and that's gonna feel weird the conversation will never be the same.
Speaker 1:I mean, we talked about mad stuff. We talked about bad build which body bleach blonde bad built which body? Body bleach blonde bad built butch body. We talked about Diddy. We talked about mad stuff. Y'all missed it.
Speaker 2:We did.
Speaker 3:And see, this is why Red is leading it off, because he's more angrier than I am. I've calmed down. Not he left the chat, I've calmed down Red done, left the chat. But you know.
Speaker 2:Now it's okay.
Speaker 3:I don't know what it is, but I just love being black BJ here what up doe?
Speaker 2:it's your girl, blair. You know, my melanin was popping yesterday, it's popping today and it's sure enough gonna be popping tomorrow it's your boy, red, and you're listening to the highlyly Melanated Podcast.
Speaker 3:In other news. Guys, how have you guys been Since it's been? I don't know. I feel like the last time we spoke to our listeners it was like the end of winter.
Speaker 2:Oh no, we speak to them all the time, they just don't always hear us.
Speaker 3:They don't hear, you don't reach them, okay we've been talking to them every week somebody, somebody, somebody messaged me and said hey, uh, so are y'all still doing podcasts? And I'm like we listen, not, you know, now I'm gonna not just close my phone because I was like, you know, I'm gonna delete this message because I just I'm getting frustrated. But yeah, we're, we're here, guys. We, we haven't disappeared, we haven't, even though we've all been extremely busy, um, but we're back again like, even like today, don't know it even like today's.
Speaker 3:You know we're recording on a monday because we try to make sure that we're trying to put something out, um, but life be life. And life is out here, you know, just carrying up spanks, and you know and that's hard to do.
Speaker 2:Okay, thanks are reinforced Are they really. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I need to get me a pair. They're meant to contain, and they contain.
Speaker 2:So how are you guys doing? You know living life and trying to be footloose and fancy free out here in these streets.
Speaker 3:I mean I'm just tired Out here in these streets. I mean he's tired Out here living the dream, losing sleep.
Speaker 2:I mean, if you could pick a song lyric to describe your life right now, what would it be? Me myself personally, I don't necessarily know if this song lyric would describe my life, but it's been stuck in my head and this is the song lyric that I wish I could fully embody if I had the 20, 25-year year old energy that I used to have. Now I have the energy of an 87 year old, but it would be for my girl glow rilla oh, wow I just, you know, the ratchet music just calls to my fucking heart just flows through your veins.
Speaker 2:It does and it's a shock every time people learn that about me and it's actually quite hilarious to to watch them go through this realization. But my latest song obsession of hers is it's 7 pm friday, it's 95 degrees, I ain't got no nigga and no nigga ain't got me. You represent me because I'm clearly not out at nobody's nothing, not going out nowhere, but for some reason that song just it just you, you just think you're just listening to it right now it speaks to me, but it is not of me.
Speaker 2:I wish it were of me.
Speaker 1:Okay, I wish you had said that before, because if that's the case, then I've been listening to a lot of Childish Gambino stuff lately.
Speaker 2:A lot, a lot.
Speaker 1:I've been digesting his songs left and right recently, since he dropped out of Easter. He has a new album out. Oh shit, question of the week your questions as they pertain to you perspectively and introspectively. I came across this on instagram and it's actually a really good question. If you could only use one word to communicate with everybody for the rest of the life, for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Speaker 3:I saw this anybody ask you.
Speaker 1:If you saw this, what's your word?
Speaker 3:okay, that's my word. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, like that's my word mine is.
Speaker 2:That's not a word, it is.
Speaker 3:Spell it.
Speaker 2:Ow.
Speaker 3:I said, spell it, and she goes ow.
Speaker 1:O-W, o-w, o-w.
Speaker 3:Ow ow, ow, Ow Ow.
Speaker 2:Ow, ow, ow, ow Ow. What about you? Wow, wow, wow Wow.
Speaker 3:What about you?
Speaker 2:Mine would be wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. You know that you have to throw that. Wow, wow. Um, what's his name?
Speaker 3:the one, owen wilson wow, wow, um, ah, this guy, wow this guy from youtube that I watch that, uh, the pitch meetings something. Ryan George, he goes Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. But um, damn it, see the train.
Speaker 2:Because it's like. It's not really necessarily like the word that you use, but it's just the intonation.
Speaker 3:So, yes, Thank you for bringing it back. See, the train never left the station, but that's like an acting you know. That reminds me of like an acting exercise that we have to do, Like when you have to say a same line but use a different emotion to it. Sorry y'all, I couldn't.
Speaker 1:It's all right. You was trying to get on a different train. We wasn't gonna let you, though we was pointing at the signs. It's this way.
Speaker 2:This way, nigga that train was not boarding.
Speaker 3:But I do. That's actually one of the like, one of my favorite acting exercises to do. Like to give each thing different emotions and things like that. Speaking of different emotions, I'll say that this week has been these couple of weeks. I don't think I even said anything. I'm stepping back, so I know I mentioned this before in previous recordings. That never seemed the light of day, so why am I saying it now?
Speaker 1:I'm not going to.
Speaker 3:I feel so bad y'all Listeners, for all y'all out there. We really really had some really great conversations. That would have been just really dope for y'all, they don't care.
Speaker 2:They sick of tired of hearing from us.
Speaker 3:Okay, they don't care they're like these niggas ain't never coming out whatever. But um, it's been an interesting couple of weeks and all I know is that I'm actually excited for um this heat wave to actually go through, so I could just lay across my bed naked. I am tired of wearing clothes.
Speaker 1:Things that we didn't need to know, ding.
Speaker 2:He's been laying across my bed naked. Oh my.
Speaker 3:Nah, not even that, I'm just playing. No, you're not.
Speaker 1:That's what's my fault. We know you, you're not. That's what's fucked up.
Speaker 3:We know you, it's not team nudist team nudist um, but we missed mental health month. We're in the middle of pride month and today I feel like we're in the middle of pride month and today I feel like we're still like it's like we've been doing this for a minute, but I think I hope that I'm the only one who feels this way, but I think that we're doing this a different way today, so hopefully it'll go through, but I'll be really upset at this recording, just like well, that's also why we're gonna make today a little shorter y'all listen to this.
Speaker 3:Y'all listen to this. Y'all like yo, this episode sounds so out of whack, so different, but it's because you know we've been, we're been fun yeah, this is a test.
Speaker 2:This is a broadcasting system.
Speaker 3:Okay, well, oh yeah, since it's me right.
Speaker 2:Well, no but no, you had started to decide, just didn't know if you had finished your point.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, no. I did finish my point, so I was like I was going to, since I said that I was going to right oh, go right ahead please you walk right into that I know, I know, so I was about to, but please, the floor is yours, go right on the head. Take it, I'll give it back to you. I, I am, I am, I am in the full backseat today, y'all.
Speaker 2:Not at all. Please, Jesus, PJ, take the wheel.
Speaker 3:But you know, speaking of taking the wheel before we even get into the wheel. So let me ask y'all a question. Question of the day, okay, because we have question of the week, okay.
Speaker 1:How I was trying to outdo somebody.
Speaker 3:It's not no, because you bringing these things full circle to the top of my head and it just, it is just like agitates me, like this has been the week of agitation and I humans have been agitating me. Um, how do you feel? Wait a second, and it applies. How do you feel about people trying to take the wing when you're supposed to be the one who does?
Speaker 3:it oh, oh, my god, I bring it. I bring this up because my my shout out to my cousin, rachel you know, she calls it the takeover spirit because I'm always like let me help, let me help, let me help. And then when I say let me help, that means no, let me do everything. You sit down, let me show you how to do it, this and that, whatever. But this week has been the week of people telling me how to drive, where to drive, or how to do things, what to do, and I'm like I'm aware I. Or how to do things, what to do, and I'm like I'm aware, I know, I know how to do it, I got it, I got it, I got it. You know what you fucking do with that if you don't, if you, you know he's a good man, savannah but he's not you know he really wasn't.
Speaker 3:We're gonna do it. We still have to do that episode, that episode that black people are not ready to talk about things that black people are not ready to talk about no, like like who's the real villains of these movies and these shows and things like that but uh, no, no, no yeah but anyway.
Speaker 2:So back on track, let's begin I think it depends on how much I wanted to do it in the first place. Do you want to like it? It depends on how much I wanted to be driving that car to begin with, like whether or not I care if somebody else takes the wheel.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if it's my wheel and it's my car and I put gas in it, then I'm driving this motherfucker.
Speaker 1:I think for me. I like to delegate a lot, so I don't need to necessarily take the wheel, but I will feel the need to take the wheel if I feel like you're going to fuck it up more, because then that's just more cleanup for me later on.
Speaker 2:Precisely.
Speaker 1:Like, give me that fucking shit.
Speaker 3:You will sit in the back and put on your seat belt the back of the bus the back no ass behind the yellow line and see, this is these are the things that I'm learning, because I'm learning from the both of y'all. And then you know, in other avenues as well, because I know I'm not the greatest when it comes to delegation. Um, I know I'm I'm good at whatever it is that I'm doing and I try to make sure that I don't like. You know, the conversation about a good leader doesn't always have to lead like a good leader allows other people to do it and I allow people to do it.
Speaker 3:But I don't want to micromanage and I know, like Blair you've talked about, like you think you're like a borderline micromanager and so I'm also like I'm not a micromanager but I'm like I'm like a let you hang yourself kind of manager and like let you dig your hole in so deep but I've already fixed it, you know kind of situation. I don't know where this part is going, but I don't know. Just this whole week has been really frustrating with people like that. But while we're talking about the things that have been frustrating to us, incorrect, I'm trying to find the segue that is the segue.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is it Okay.
Speaker 3:You know what You're right. You're right While we're sitting here talking about things that are frustrating to us. This episode, not only is it recorded on a Monday, but this episode will be released on a day that we never really released episodes on, which is Wednesday, because today is Juneteenth. Happy Juneteenth, y'all.
Speaker 2:Insert clapping noises here hey.
Speaker 1:I don't know what. That is why you got a fork in your hand. I didn't know if it was frozen, or what. I was just all like why is he holding?
Speaker 2:this fork.
Speaker 1:Why is this fork at?
Speaker 3:my computer desk. Where did?
Speaker 2:this fork come from.
Speaker 3:It's been at my computer desk, it magically appeared.
Speaker 3:I was trying to do the siren sounds, but then an actual siren, a new york city siren, popped up.
Speaker 3:Um, but since today is juneteenth and we wanted to like, really have a brief conversation about, you know, we're celebrating juneteenth, we're doing all the great things which, sidebar, I'm loving.
Speaker 3:I'm loving this year so far and seeing all the wonderful things that's been going around, especially around new york, around brooklyn, that, uh, we are organizing not, um, anybody else is putting, you know, watermelon flavor ice cream out or whatever it is um, but all the beautiful events that we got going around throughout the city.
Speaker 3:So, since it's juneteenth, we want to actually like briefly have a conversation about, like you know, we were so excited and so happy that it's finally a federal holiday and you know, this is supposed to be the day that we, we are celebrating the fact that when the slaves knew they were free, or the last, last place in galveston, texas, that was actually told that they, that we were free, we know every single day that we were free, we know every single day that we are still. We have a ways to go before we really do feel free, and so I want to ask you if you, I want to ask you guys, or let's have a little conversation about, like you know, what do you think is still needed for us to actually can say that we are?
Speaker 2:we are really free, like us as a people that we are, we are really free, like us as a people. I mean, I think that there are there's two sides of it, right. There's a mental side of it and then there's an actual, like legal implications side of it. Like there are still, like a lot of laws that maybe not necessarily like laws that need to change, but there have been laws that have been in place that have historically been used to keep black people down, um, and we still need to find a way to fight against those, to kind of eradicate like that, like within our society. And then there are still a lot of laws that were specifically passed, like with, with not even like the, the veil of, you know, like, oh, this is like they were literally put in place and they didn't hide the fact that, like, we're creating this law to keep black people down, so, like things like redlining and and stuff like that you know that we're still, you know, very much affected by, you know, to this day, um, like, for example, like the first thing that just kind of like jumps to my mind is in one of the more recent elections that we had, where they had like a proposal that was on the ballot about allowing schools to have X, y and Z funding that comes from X, y and Z district and a lot of people were like up in arms about it, like, well, why does that district have to pay for this district's? You know, school or whatever district have to pay for this district's, you know, school or whatever, whatever it was, it's because there were, you know, laws that were set up to specifically keep that specific school district down because it was black. Um, just like with you know, when people are all up in arms about affirmative action and like the reason why, like, affirmative action was created was because we were historically at such a disadvantage, you know, purposefully. So I feel like there's like the legal side of things and then there's also like the mentality, uh, side of things. So, like there's like the, the socio-economic stuff that, like we go through, like, um, the stereotypes that black people still face, um, the, the, the all of the racial, you know, prejudices that we still face, that keep us down like, yes, they, they aren't, like you know, um, as prominent as they once were, but we're still very much affected by them.
Speaker 2:And every day it's like I try to do something that you know kind of speaks to that like, for example I think I think it was the last episode like we were talking, or maybe it was, I was talking to a friend or something, but it's a lot of like subconscious things that like we don't even realize we do until somebody like points it out.
Speaker 2:Like, for example, like if you're walking down the street and there's, you know, you're walking down the street, and there's like white person walking down the street and a lot of times, like I know, we as a people will just automatically like move, get out the way, you know, let that person by or let that person not veer from their path. And I remember I used to do that all the time and it wasn't even like you know, like oh, let me get out this white person's way, kind of thing, but it was just. It was essentially like ingrained in me, you know, and then, like when I realized that I was doing that, I was like, oh well, that shit has to stop immediately so now I don't move out the way like I.
Speaker 2:Don't move out the way like you can move just as easily as I can, you can move. And I think like it's always funny, like when they realize that I'm not to move, and they're kind of like oh yeah, anyway, I've said a lot, you guys say things.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean you started. You started touching on well first. First of all, it's going to be funny and say we need to free ourselves from the shackle of Hennessy. That was, that was from one of the episodes that were not Things that are highly overrated.
Speaker 3:We'll get back to that.
Speaker 2:Free ourselves from the shackle of the brown liquor Right.
Speaker 1:Free ourselves from the Henny, no, but something that you touched on was socioeconomic, and I think, in order to start freeing ourselves in a really good way, what we need to start doing is, when I say we, I mean like the powers that may be that are in better off positions to teach people in better ways and in higher numbers, but like financial literacy in a really good way, and starting to teach people at a very early age. What I'm realizing both from you know, just you know people that are around me in the community, and then also just people at work and how they work. A lot of people don't have resources in the way that we think that they should or we would want them to, or we think like they were brought up with certain things and and we can talk about that in a very broad way not just with financial literacy, but just like things that you should know in order to, like, get the next level of the promotion or whatever, but primarily financial literacy. And because people don't know how to do certain things, they find out way too late in life how to correct it, or things that they're doing um like. I'll give you a primary example, you know, for people who like um, for example what is the best way to put this, because I don't want to give like bad, like advice, but thinking in terms of because this is something that I've been thinking city workers, they get pensions right, and basically what you can do is you can take a loan against your pension. If you take that out, you can put that into a high yield savings account and actually make money on that, and you, you know there's taxes and stuff that's involved with that. It's something that you need to look into. But a lot of people are not thinking like that, right, they just think, oh, I got my pension and when I have my pension, that's it. You know, if I'm going to take out a loan, you know I won't pay it back or whatever it is. And so then later on in life people wind up not having that money for them and they don't have the money that's working for them.
Speaker 1:And those are the kind of out of box things that we need to start teaching people in a really good way, because we have to kind of build that generational wealth and we're not doing that. It's every generation that we're passing off. We're kind of not passing off anything, if much at all, and so that's one of the things that I see kind of holds us back a little bit, especially with the way that everything is like the price is increasing due to inflation and things that you need and you wanna be in a particular type of neighborhood. If you to be in a particular type of neighborhood, if you want to be in a particular type of neighborhood, that means that it might be more expensive. You have property tax that you need to pay, you're going to be around a different demographic of people, things might cost more, and so that's what I kind of like really wish to see more so that way we can free ourselves, because we're not having that money work for us right now.
Speaker 3:In the midst of this conversation, I'm doing some quick Googles and I came across a book that I'm actually going to, I'm downloading and I'm going to read it or listen to it. Um, because at first, before I even did it or said I'm going to, I had to see the author, because her name is karen, um, but she's a black woman, right and the title of this book is called my best friend's mom's.
Speaker 3:His name karen, and I feel so bad for her you know and you know, shout out, yeah, shout out to every, every black karen out there, you know come on black karen's living, living and deceiving the name okay, but this is book cults and I I don't even know if I should be talking about this.
Speaker 3:Yes, yet until I read it, but she's okay be careful she is a pulitzer Prize winning journalist, you know, shout out to WAP, wap, wap, wap. They not like us, anyway, so I still going to bring a bit of it, right.
Speaker 1:But it's titled.
Speaker 3:Stop being Niggardly Right and nine things Black people need to stop doing. And I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling through it and so, like I really want to probably read this book or, like, go into it, but she has some. Stop complaining and start planning. Stop tearing down our heroes, stop blaming Bill Cosby and anyone else. Telling the truth. Stop dividing, stop digging. These are truth. Stop dividing. Stop digging. These are chapters. Stop devaluing yourself. Stop disrespecting money. Stop being fat. I don't appreciate that. Okay, because fat Listen, I posted this not too long ago about when I say you know, I say I'm fat and they go no, you're not.
Speaker 3:I'm like hey, hey, hey, you heard wrong, no-transcript. Um, read this book, but, um, I know you want to say something, chris, but what? You let it off, blair, and I was like you said it at the end of it, because I'm like, are we really going through it? Are we putting ourselves through it? Uh, you know, and it's just like there are, there are moments where we know society is actually still like pinning us down, but we sometimes have a tendency to pin ourselves down and it like comes from, like the people who choose to continue to gatekeep like let's, let's stop gatekeeping like these, these how to do.
Speaker 3:How did you? How did you? It's like, it's like, um, I, I hate and I really don't like quoting, just hilarious, right, but she had, she had this little tiktok thing, I think it was, and it was like her saying to her friend who just started her business, and she was like you know, to her friend who just started her business and she was like you know, I really want to start my business, girl, how did you start it? And the girl was like you know, through hard work and preservation, she's like, yeah, so what was the hard work like? Give me the. Yeah, it was like me dedicating myself and me doing this like no, like I think that, in order for us to be, to really feel free, it's the, the people who are not just doing it, but we're showing other people how to do it, and we need more of that well, unfortunately, again, that's another.
Speaker 2:You know mentality that kind of came out of slavery, obviously this whole crabs in a bucket. You know mentality where there's only you know, like we've been ingrained to believe that there's only you know, like we've been ingrained to believe that there's only so much success available in the world. You know, and if you get success and you show somebody else how to get success, then that somehow decreases the amount of success that you can have. So we have like this mentality of like oh let me bring, you know, my people along with me, but let me make sure I don't bring them too far along and let me make sure that I don't give them enough information that they can surpass me.
Speaker 2:And you know, again, that's like something that I feel, like you know, is just still like ingrained in us from the days of slavery, where they really did like they tried to keep slaves in line by like giving some of them privileges but not others. So that way, like everybody would kind of behave the way that they wanted them to, because they saw there was their opportunity for privileges or coming up or whatever it was, but again it was controlled by one single person or one single entity. So if we can find a way to get people to understand that there is not a limited amount of success in the world, Like you know, if we can and if we could just let go of being fearful of other people being more successful than us, you know.
Speaker 3:Who are also in the same lane that we're in. I think that's also. That's also a thing. I think a lot of people think that only we can, only one person needs, like this whole idea of only one person can be great within an industry, within, um, you know, whatever, and there there are multiple of streams of ways that the same people who are doing the same thing, just like YouTubers, just like even podcasters Like you know, there are a lot of us who've been doing this for, like you know, for us we've been doing this longer than you know, most of these people who now decide to pick up a mic and now a camera and still, thankfully, guys, those of you who listen to us, you know that we are genuine podcasters.
Speaker 3:Like we are here with the audio, we have some visuals, but, like podcasting started out really as audio and I like to keep it that way for us because it helps you, the listener, use your imagination to really understand what we're saying, versus like having to see and you know then you like it's helping you focus, like I wish that more people will understand that there are different ways to be great and not just the one way that we are told that we can only be great yeah I think I was just going to say.
Speaker 1:I just want to like mention just two words that kind of stick out to me. One of them you actually mentioned, uh, pj, which is blame, and then the other one I'm thinking is boundary and I think what you was mentioning. You know, blair, you know where we have those crabs in a barrel mentality. You know I see a lot of people blaming stuff because I think people subconsciously understand and realize that in order for you to get far or get significantly ahead to where you think that you should be, it requires a lot of work. It's so much easier to just blame and say this is not happening because of, instead of just saying all right, well, I know that happened.
Speaker 1:Right, I know that that's happening. So what do I do to kind of get around it? And that's not to say that you know those things aren't happening. They're not obstacles and they're not necessarily reasons. But I find that even things that are not pertaining to you know, being Black per se, you know just things I see in my job, the way that I see my workers, my co-workers, the way that they do stuff, it's like everything is like well, I couldn't do it, because that's not an excuse. That report still has to be in on time to these people and you are not being responsible and you're not being held accountable. That's why you just think that you can just do that. The other thing is this boundary Talk about the level of success that you can provide to people.
Speaker 1:There is not a certain amount of success that you know. A cap that anybody has before you know all the successes is run out of the world. But what I do think people fail very poorly at is that when let's just say you bring your buddy along, or it could be somebody that you don't even know and you share that knowledge, and let's just say that they get ahead, don't even know and you share that knowledge and let's just say that they get ahead. People think that certain things are obligatory. The best way that I can give an example is that if I'm a manager but I just got promoted, I can't treat you the same. I have to be different because I have different responsibilities and things that need to be taken care of.
Speaker 1:And I think people don't realize that you come in, you call out or you're late, and then I hold you accountable. You've added me and I think people get like that. They don't see that well, things have to change, things still need to be done. People want all of these freedoms with the room. Oh well, maybe he'll just overlook it, and it's not like that. I have a responsibility. Freedom's wiggle room, you know, oh well, maybe he'll just overlook it, or you know, and it's not like that. I have a responsibility and I think people who truly do work or do what they have to do I won't say work, but do what they have to do will never view it as that, because you guys know, like if I ever had to pull you to the side for something, it's not because I'm all like I'm out to get you. It's never.
Speaker 3:You know that, it's never that, but for the people that don't do what they're supposed to be doing. Then it becomes this whole issue. You know it's I'm sorry you were tapping into something and it brought back a conversation, and even the conversation of why this podcast was created, right in reference to. In order for us to really be free, I think that we have to free ourselves from the idea and the understanding again that there's only one way to be black, that we have to understand and allow people the chance to live their lives based on how they were raised or based on their morals and their things, and understand that that is them and they are free.
Speaker 3:The person who is a free thinker in my, in my opinion, is the person um, the, the best person in the world is the one who is a free thinker, is what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 3:So, like they're allowing themselves to think freely versus having to go along with what everyone else is doing, and even if what everyone else is doing makes sense, they're giving themselves the opportunity to maybe step outside their comfort zone and do something a little different, think a little different, act a little different, you know, and not just do things because this is what the majority of people are doing.
Speaker 3:Do things, because this is like my core beliefs and this is not going to change and or it may adjust. You know and like, since we've done this podcast and I know each one of us can say we've experienced this because probably once we started this podcast, we've all had a core belief or a core value or some idea of life that we had, and we've learned from each other on different ways to think and different ways to go about doing something or reacting to something. But that is helping us, in my mind, if, if I'm explaining this right, be freer than just to be stuck, because that's what freedom is like allowing you to no longer be stuck in the mentality that you have been, whether it's been good for you or bad for you. You're still stuck in this mentality. It's not allowing yourself to grow as a human being, let alone a black person.
Speaker 1:Sorry.
Speaker 3:So Bach, there we go.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no. I mean it's funny that you say that, because I would like to think that I always try and make myself be a hub for possibilities and change and you know new ideas and I think what makes us, I think what makes it hard for people to share ideas on that level going back to what I was saying before teaching people about financial literacy and all that stuff like that is that people are on different levels and you can't always meet everybody at every level. Like if you have a, if you have a corporate machine or some type of organization to do that, then you know it's bigger, so you have more resources more times you can focus on different things, but it's it's. It's such a hard battle, uphill battle, to do that on an individual level. Because here I am, you can ask me any question that you want, in whatever arena that it is, and I can tell you how it is.
Speaker 1:And that person might not still get it or might not still see it because they're just not there. They need to go through other steps and other experiences in order for them to understand what I'm saying or what I'm trying to teach them steps and other experiences in order for them to get understand what I'm saying or what I'm trying to teach them. And I see that in work outside of work in different organizations, between friends. I see it all the time and it's just, I think, to me.
Speaker 3:I just I'm so frustrated at that sometimes because I'm just like, oh my god, if they could only understand why it's done this way or why we should be doing this so there's this I'm sorry go ahead, go ahead I'm saying and and I'm I'm bringing these things up and for the listeners out there to go back and research them yourself and and form your own opinion.
Speaker 3:And again, that's how to be free, a free thinker, and that when I think of, when think of freedom, I think of how this is supposed to be a free country, the land of the free, allegedly, and it's allowing us to be free thinkers, allowing us to have minds of our own and being able to do what it is that we wouldn't want to do. That makes sense for us. So I'm only bringing these things up for you guys to go back and research them. But there's this article that just came out a few days ago from the national urban league in reference to you know, this is 60 years later since the access to civil rights act of 1964, and really even think about that, the idea that that act was in 1964 and and it's 60 years later, understanding the impact that that has had and really, where are we now, 60 years later, understanding the impact that that has had? And really, where are we now, 60 years later?
Speaker 3:please understand that that's younger than all of our parents you know right, and so I I think people don't understand even this gen, gen z and gen alpha. You know, they still don't really get the right exactly they.
Speaker 3:They don't get it just yet about the differences of what we had to go through or what you experienced. I was just watching a video today about a girl who walked across the stage and shook all the Black people's hands except for one Black woman, and she shook the first white woman. The first white professor, skipped the Black woman and then skipped all these white people and shook all the black people's hands, all the other professors and the comments in this, and I think this is another way for us to like really like. In order for us to really feel free, we have to free ourselves from other people's opinions. These comments in social media really makes me want to delete my social media accounts, because it just lets you know how ignorant people are you know, and so, like, I'll write a.
Speaker 3:I wrote a comment, not based on the video, but based on the comments, right? So, like everybody's, like, oh, she's being I don't know if y'all can hear that or not about how she's being racist and because, not, look at her, she's gonna. You know, and unfortunately it was posted by a white girl, so all the people that were commenting were in that, in that vein, feeling that, oh, this is racist, this is racist. That black girl see, watch her, not not be able to get a job, so let's see her, she gonna do that at the job. And you, this is how she would train. This is nothing about a race baiter and this and that, whatever, but not understanding that where we are as a society, where people see things, yes, we're always going to make things about race, because, guess what, baby, everything is about race, every single thing is about race, everything. I mean I'm not going to say every single thing, but like 90, let's say 90 a lot of it a lot 90 of existence is about race I won't.
Speaker 1:I won't even put a percentage on it, just because I know that there's people that will say, well, no, it's not 90, it's 89. I won't even do that, but it's a lot of it and people need to be realistic. It's a lot, but what I was going to say, what I was going to mention is um, you said what is freedom to you? I think freedom to me is fun is is the constant pursuit of truth. I think, like you was mentioning before, like how people are viewing that and like she's you, you know, being racist and stuff like that. What's the sad thing about like social media and the way that it's set up now is that you can post anything on social media and, because of the fact that you don't know the entire story, you're only seeing this like tidbit of a clip. You people are viewing it as, oh, this person only did this, not knowing, like, maybe all the people that I'm not I mean, I don't know but maybe all the people that she shook were all her professors.
Speaker 3:And so the way I, the way I said it, maybe all the people that she shook hands with were the professors that supported her Right and you like everything isn't about race, but you still had the same.
Speaker 2:I was like, maybe, maybe she has beef with those people.
Speaker 1:So that Maybe she has beef with those people, so that she didn't shake and she was warranted to do so, because you don't know what her experience was going to this PWI, because in one of my years in college there was this one lady I took a. I think it was a business class white woman and y'all know me, I don't have no problem with nobody and I did the class and I wound up getting a C minus D plus something like that.
Speaker 2:It was all like well, that don't make no sense Pull up the syllabus.
Speaker 1:Did the math. I said I should at least be getting an 83 in the class, which is a B minus. I said hmm. So I went up to her and I said I don't think that this represents what I should have been getting. And she said you missed some homework. I said but your homework is only worth 15 percent. I said so, even when you do the math. I said it's still crazy. And I was like and I'll be acing your exams.
Speaker 2:And she said well, you crazy. And I was like and I'll be acing your exams.
Speaker 1:And she said well, I'll you know. She was like I'll look into it. So I said, all right, fine, you have to do it in a certain time frame because after you miss that window, the grades become sealed. So I said no, no, no, no, no. So I went back there, like maybe, like a week later. I said are you going to change it? She was like I said I was going to do it and then she and she and she slammed the door on me said oh, I got, I got this lady. So I did. I sent an email to the dean of student affairs and I said this is what's happening. I'm getting this grade. I was like I don't know if I appreciate it, because I went up to her several times. I was like I should at least be getting blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah, or your syllabus.
Speaker 1:And I attached a syllabus and I did all that stuff. You know, this woman gave me an A+.
Speaker 2:I bet she did.
Speaker 1:Because she did not want to have to deal with that, Because I said what the Not the fact that she put an A at the end of it.
Speaker 1:I mean yeah, they don't do A plus, it was probably just an A, but you know, she gave me an A because she didn't want to deal with it and, from what I've heard from other people and other staff members who are Black, it was like, yeah, she has a problem with Black people. I was like, well, she got the wrong one. I was like, because you're not going to give me something that is not.
Speaker 3:You got give me something that is not the right one.
Speaker 2:You got the right one on the wrong day the right one however, you want to put right wrong, left right, you better give it, you better give it all. Give it all to me, you better be you know, you better be the one right, whatever you are, the one I.
Speaker 1:I was so mad, but it just, it just stands to reason you know and I say that just just kind of loop it in. You know, you never know what the conflicts that people have and you because of that you could not see that. Maybe that there was another issue. So I think freedom is the pursuit of truth you know.
Speaker 2:Along with that, I think that freedom for us, specifically as Black people, is being released from assumptions.
Speaker 2:Oh yes, yeah, like we just assume X, y and Z, when that really, and a lot of like, yes, just like we said, most of the time things are racially, you know, biased and motivated, but not always, you know, and we just can't always like we should be aware that that is, you know, a very highly and very likely factor in whatever situation that we're facing. But I think that we would have more success with overcoming that situation if we didn't go into that with the assumption that this is happening because to prove, like, yes, this is racially, you know, motivated, or this is racially biased because we've done the homework to be able to, to prove it, instead of just saying, oh, I know, you did this because I'm black, you know it gives us more credibility, I think, and I understand that we're not always able to prove it because a lot of times it is a gut instinct, it is like a situational kind of understanding that we experience and there always can't be facts or like direct um examples to, like, you know, prove our point.
Speaker 3:But I think that if we go into scenarios not assuming things, because you know what assumptions do- listen because let me tell you how, completely on topic, off topic, right, and I have gotten this over and over again when it comes to me, right, I'm from Brownsville, lived in Jersey, brownsville, bed-stuy, jersey. Back to Brooklyn. Brownsville, nigga life, bed-stuy, still nigga life, prospect Heights starting to be associated with a little bit more of other people Jersey, all white people.
Speaker 3:Back to Brooklyn nigga life, with a few scatters. Here and there I speak. You know differently as they say. You know what they. However, they keep saying that us black people can't speak. Um, I'm constantly getting these two comparisons and I'm only bringing this up just to just to break some like little humor into this for a quick second. Why is it that people always either think I'm either into white women or I'm gay? I mean, I am gay, but it's like but this is so fucking funny.
Speaker 2:This is fucking checks out I just saw a tiktok it was either last night or this morning that literally talked about exactly that, like exactly that. They were like, they were talking about how a lot of times, black men who exclusively date white women are oftentimes mistaken for gay. Because I look, I I was like what, I wasn't so interested, but they said that there's like some type of like commonality or some type of like characteristic or something that both portray that allows for that, you know, that assumption or that mistake or whatever to be made and I was just like wow yeah, and vice versa, like there's a lot of us gotta find the tiktok yeah there's a lot of us gay guys or bisexuals or however you want to identify that um, get this as well.
Speaker 3:Like is your girlfriend white? No, do you see how? Like a west indian car just drove by. Like no, I don't, I don't, I don't, date white women. Oh, so then you date men. So it's like interesting.
Speaker 3:I really wish that people escalation. I really want to challenge everyone, um, during this june tea season, um to not even, not just celebrate our freedom and you know, know, you know have barbecue or cookout or whatever it is that you want to do, go to an event that celebrates our history. You know, but really think about your life internally and like what does that mean for you? What does freedom really mean for you? What do you think that it takes for you to feel free? What do you think that our community would need in order for us to feel free?
Speaker 3:And we're talking about beyond political gain. We're talking about, like beyond whatever's going on within our community directly that affects us. But you know, whether it's entertainment, whether it's sports, which is entertainment, whether it's politics, whether it's, you know, educational things. You know as far as like redlining, as far as like our school systems, who are getting you know the funding that is necessary. Kids are growing up without the the necessary tools to progress in a way that other communities have. These are little things when we decide on what they are. And then the next thing is what can you do to assist in this? Uh, because we are the only community that can't really be a community that can't really be a community and don't put money back into our community because we don't own nothing. And we don't own nothing because the way America is set up. So I'm not going to get on this.
Speaker 2:America has a problem.
Speaker 3:You know that's the lyric of today.
Speaker 1:Second appearance.
Speaker 3:You know, but I really think that that's, you know. In my opinion and I don't, like you know, we don't really get too serious on this podcast anymore these days, but I really think that we, even in our absence, you know, we, we individually and collectively, still um really are concerned with the betterment of our community. And I love the little things that I do as far as outside of, like podcasting and teaching and driving for funerals and producing other people's content and editing and blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada. But what I love the most is I love my people when they act like my god today.
Speaker 3:Okay, when they stop acting niggardly. I was waiting, I knew it was coming anything you guys want to add, subtract or take away, divide or conquer, multiply, find the square root of I mean, it's just like with anything else, like it's about reflection and then coming to an understanding and then having an action.
Speaker 2:So, just like you said before, like take the time to, like reflect on you know what freedom means to you Personally, like I know, like we're always, like you know, trying to put the community on our back, but a lot of times that just starts with ourselves, and like what is going to work best for us, you know, um, and be able to have some perspective on that and then figuring out the best way to be able to move forward, to make that life possible for you as an individual.
Speaker 1:I'm glad you said that, because I think we become overwhelmed, thinking that we have to learn or do something, a certain way to help out, like you know, the people that are around you. But I think it's really just saying to yourself that you are going to help out and that's the beginning of any of that right. You know, people treat each other every day kind of like not the way that they should, and I think for a lot of people and I say this not just race-wise, but even when I see at work, you know, and the people around me and friends and or so are more so associates and people in the street and wherever they don't treat each other like they want to actually help, and that already is a loss, because you're just in it just for yourself, and we're a community when we need to treat each other like that.
Speaker 3:Shout out to that, shout out to the song that we started out the episode with, and I think that that really is imperative to what we're trying to say freedom is here, but freedom is still coming. Freedom is not fully here. We have a ways to go before we are actually really really free. On that note, guys, thank you for taking the time to listen to another episode of highly motherfucking, malinated, no, the safe space where it's okay to celebrate your freedom and understand that you have the power. You are the master of your own fate. I'm Captain Planet. You are the master of your own fate.
Speaker 3:You are the captain of your own soul. Okay, as always, guys, you can follow us on. You know that place. I'm wondering if we're still. I don't even think they really even like. We spent so much time in the news talking about this quote-unquote tiktok ban to. I really wonder. I have to actually research what was actually going on, that we were blinded, like what was being distracted? What were we being distracted from? Because tiktok ain't going away anywhere? Um, but you can follow us on tiktok and instagram okay, tikt, tiktok and Instagram and highlymelanatedpodcast.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Always go ahead and send us an email. It's probably the best way to get in touch with us. Low key. It really is highlymelanatedpodcast at gmailcom, because we know Gmail ain't going nowhere.
Speaker 1:I guess it's obligatory that I say my piece. So come on over and congregate if you know. You're not sure where you're going to send your messages to. At twitter, now known as x at h. Underscore melanated pod. On that note, twitter, now known as x at h underscore MelanatedPod On that note peace, love, and if it's for free, it's for me.
Speaker 2:Period.
Speaker 3:Shout out y'all If it's for free, it's for me. Where are the barbecues? Y'all, let us know.
Speaker 2:Please let us know.
Speaker 3:Where can we go?
Speaker 2:Bitch trying to eat. Know, please let us know where can we go? Bitch trying to eat? Oh, thank you.