Highly Melanated Podcast
Hosted by PJ, Blair & Red A safe space for you to enjoy every bit of your melanin no matter how "melanated" you are in skin tone, we are ALL Highly Melanated.Come enjoy funny and dynamic conversations that people of color face on a day to day basis with various topics such as loving ourselves, knowing who we are as a people and uplifting each other with a mix of class and rachetness (CLATCHETNESS)
Highly Melanated Podcast
Costumes, Controversies, and Core Values: Navigating the Maze of Changing Generational Norms
Remember the electrifying thrill of being in the studio for the Sherri Show? This week, PJ brings up his sensational time he had in the audience as Miss Tina Lawson brought her unique spirit and vivacity, embodying our celebration of life and individuality to the Sherri Show. We spent the time reminiscing about the year's best Halloween costumes, and laughter echoed through the studio as we discussed Blair's unforgettable birthday celebration and the joy that filled the room that night.
Now, let's talk Halloween costumes - the zany, the creative, and the controversial. Ever wondered about the fine line between admiration and cultural appropriation? We discuss Diddy's legal spat for Halloween. In the midst of all this, we reflect on our core values, revisit the lessons our parents imparted, and ponder how these values have shaped us and our interactions with the world. The evolution of values is a topic we delve into, contemplating the influence of technology and shifting societal norms.
As we navigate our way through the maze of changing generational values, we find ourselves appreciating the freedom and positivity of Wayne Brady. His spirit embodies our celebration of individuality and humor. As we reflect on our values, we can't help but ponder how they were shaped by our families and how they'll influence future generations. By examining the importance of inclusivity and evolving values, let's remember to stay true to ourselves in a rapidly changing world.
Tune in, let's get real, let's laugh, and let's explore the evolving landscape of values and being true to oneself.
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I don't know what it is, but I just love being black DJ here.
Speaker 2:What up dough? It's your girl, blair. You know, melanin was popping yesterday, it's popping today and it's show enough, gonna be popping tomorrow.
Speaker 1:Thanks to your boy Red, and you're listening to the Highly Melanated Podcast, the safe space where it is okay to eat your words, as you have contributed yourself time in and time again.
Speaker 2:I don't know, pj, would you like to give a little clarity? Do you have an explanation on that?
Speaker 3:Tell us more.
Speaker 2:Tell us more, please, please.
Speaker 1:PJ is no longer allowed to talk any kind of way about Beyonce. As I sit here with my exclusive Renaissance sweatshirt that I got from the Sherry show, shout out to once again I'm Jess Patrick. This is one of the senior producers and that actual show was his entire baby and I don't know if you guys have seen it, but it was actually a great experience. Sherry changed into about eight outfits. She looked amazing and we were given the special guest of Miss Tina Lawson. Is she Lawson or she knows?
Speaker 2:She's still Lawson. I don't think their divorce is finalized.
Speaker 1:Right. Well, we know who Miss Tina is and I can sit here and say I know what she smells like.
Speaker 2:That feels weird to say she smells like that sounds inappropriate it does.
Speaker 1:It smells like white diamonds and no ceilings, and just luxury, no ceilings, and yeah, I don't know what she. Well, I might adjust this part of the episode because I would be like what do you mean?
Speaker 2:his man knows how that smells like.
Speaker 1:But what I will say is for those of us who were in the studio. We were all in Beyonce's living room at one point in time because, as it was going, beyonce was watching the episode being recorded, because it was aired on Halloween. So PJ is just having a good sandwich eating the words of days gone by. Wow, red.
Speaker 3:I love watching you eat crow red.
Speaker 2:And Blair, I love that. You just serve yourself up a nice piece of humble pie. Blair, unique, see, now you're going to go so far in the opposite direction. Now that it's going to be, it's just going to be a lot.
Speaker 1:PJ has a problem. No.
Speaker 2:It's America. Pj has a problem.
Speaker 1:No, but I do want to say that I really didn't have a good time and I actually am glad that actually that happened. Only more so because it's crazy how sometimes you don't realize how, when you're, you might be having a bad day. What actually turns your day around, and being around all those people hold on the sounds of New York.
Speaker 2:Now, this is the first time I actually feel like I've heard it, because I was like they go into your building.
Speaker 3:I have to say they coming up your steps.
Speaker 1:Listen, I've already experienced that. Remember when my neighbors caught on fire.
Speaker 2:I know that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:That was a scary, scary day. Bang, bang, bang. Hold on, here comes another. I think the next place I move will not be on a main street, but I did so before we move on. I did want to just like not only just say that was a wonderful experience, but I think it was great.
Speaker 1:Shout out to all the new listeners we have because, as you know, I promote the show heavy by word of mouth and there should have been a few. Shout out to the teachers that I was sitting with the beautiful sister if you catch me on that, I'm wearing like this metallic snake skin shirt. If you catch me on there, the woman who sit next to me with a big afro and like heart-shaped glasses. Shout out to her and all of her friends. They were all celebrating birthday and just having some good times and I just love being around people who are having enjoying themselves and speaking of enjoying ourselves. Before we even get into that, this episode is being recorded on November 1st, however, october 29th, 19-19-19-19-19-19. The world was given the gift. The gift, the alien superstar herself, oh why?
Speaker 1:Miss Blair Tate, otherwise known as Jessica Blair Tate White. How was your birthday, my love?
Speaker 2:Aw, you guys are so sweet. I thought we were just going to talk about Red's party.
Speaker 3:No, no, no. Ladies first.
Speaker 2:My birthday was wonderful. It was a good day. You know what I realized today? Because I was telling some people on set today. They were like, oh, how was your birthday? And I was like, oh, it was really good. And I was trying to talk through, explaining to them just how good it was and I had to talk myself into understanding what it was. So I feel like for a few years now my birthday had always been a little stressful, just because of situations and relationships in the center. Third, it was always had some kind of element of stress to it, especially two, three years ago, and I didn't get to do anything for my birthday last year because it was the one and only time I ever had COVID and I was like that's fucked up that I would get COVID the weekend of my birthday. I've been out running this bitch for three years and it finally took me down the weekend of my birthday.
Speaker 1:Sidebar. Why does that feel like that was literally just yesterday? That's how fast time has gone by.
Speaker 2:It was literally a year ago, one year ago, but this year I ended up just having dinner with a couple of friends and it was just really nice. You know how people say oh, we had a good time, and I genuinely experienced just pure, uninhibited joy, and that's really the best way I can describe it. I was so filled with the feeling of joy in its most authentic understanding. So it was great. I really enjoyed myself and the food was good, the company was good. It all came together like super last minute because I wasn't going to do anything. And then my friend was like no, no, call some people. I got people for going to dinner. I was like, oh, okay, and we had dinner, and I'm glad that she made that happen. So otherwise you guys would have known about it, you would have been there too. But literally two or so hours before they're like so get ready, we're going out, I was like, oh, it's all right if you didn't want us there.
Speaker 2:Stop it, don't do that. I immediately texted both of you guys afterwards and was like look, we need to go to dinner, we need to do something, because I need to keep this spirit moving along.
Speaker 1:It's important to have that train moving. I want to tell you that I actually had a surprise plan for you, but I think with everything going on, it kind of fell by the wayside and I would love to tell you what the plan was.
Speaker 2:Don't you going to make me cry? No, I don't.
Speaker 1:I did have a surprise plan, but it never came to fruition because I couldn't follow through, because I got consumed with everything that was going on over here.
Speaker 2:Was life, be life in.
Speaker 1:Life be life in. It would have involved the baddest beach and reaching out to whoever needed to. This episode was to be a celebrate Blair episode, but I never got around to reaching out to Noreen because I was like I want to do this, get all of her friends. We're going to do this, we're going to surprise her. And boom, boom, boom, and they would have just came in the room one by one.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God, I wouldn't have been able to handle it. I would have.
Speaker 1:I was, I didn't, and then part of me knew that, like I know you're a big cry, baby, I am.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't have been able to handle it.
Speaker 1:I was like we probably wouldn't be able to get through the episode.
Speaker 2:I seriously love you guys so much.
Speaker 3:You deserve it. We love you too.
Speaker 2:Well, speaking of people who deserve things, I want to hear all about the shenanigans, the Tom Fullery, the warm welcome, this that was your housewarming slash Halloween party.
Speaker 3:So I mean I had a good time. I was so tired, honestly, I could not really tell you. Like you know, I, I, as I told PJ and a couple other people, I was having a hard time. I was just like.
Speaker 3:I had a lot of engaging and people were like having a good time? Yeah, Because like I was just drained, like, keep in mind, I was cleaning and just doing stuff all day long and trying to make sure that things were prepared and I had issues with the. You know, I catered food, so I had issues with the food coming and it was a. It was a bunch of stuff. So by the time like the party got started and it was just about over, like I was just catching up, but it was the end of the night. So I mean, it was good, I had a good time. I think we were definitely missed.
Speaker 2:I was really trying to work it out too. I was like, if I leave at this time and I get on the detrain and I take it, you live far, chris, no, no okay, I get it.
Speaker 3:I get it. Everybody wasn't going to come. I knew, because you know what it was Like. My family knew the list of people that were coming. So, like one by one, my mom was just asking me. She was like, what happened to this person, what happened to that person? Every name came up or I thought Blair was coming. I was like, yeah, I was like, you know, people got stuck going on and she was like, okay, I get it. And then we just kept it moving. But you know, I had a really good time and I'm very grateful and thankful for the circle of people that are around me.
Speaker 1:Speaking of living far. All right, we're going to, we're going to, we're going to take a little pause break in that for a second. So I made a little tick tock about this and I was like you know, they always talk about how the Bronx is not a real place. Not a real place, Baby. As soon as I got off the train, I was being attacked and there was just some woman just randomly screaming while some guy across the street is screaming about the goodness of Jesus. So it was just a lot going on while homeless people are asking for clothes and shirts at and money at the same time.
Speaker 2:You know you know, sometimes you got to lay it on the table.
Speaker 1:It was laid all out there, but I will say that it wasn't. I had an amazing time playing with my favorite spotted spotted spotted lantern fly spotted lantern fly. His wings looked actually amazing. I sent you the picture. I went as a whole tap nigga.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry you went as what.
Speaker 1:I went as a whole tap nigga. I was dressed in my well. I didn't keep it on because I was like it's hot.
Speaker 2:I don't understand, I don't, I don't understand.
Speaker 1:I had an Afro, a dashiki, a loud noise maker, african noise maker, a drum, kente, cloth, shea butter, black soap and some other things that never you said you were packing your bag because we were texting back and forth on packing my bag and ready to head out.
Speaker 2:now I was like nigga, would you pack it a bag? I see why you're packing a bag now. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so I was. My plan was to walk in and be like with my hands in this diamond shape. What's up, my brother? Welcome. I am here to celebrate your warming of your house, even though they stole us from where they are. You have been planted your feet firmly on this ground and your roots will forever be shown, as you are a proud brother of the blackness. You know, I was, I was, and I did it for a little while and I just stopped because there was this child there that was just so adorable.
Speaker 3:He's so cute, he's so, but he is so much energy, so much energy and unfortunately not, unfortunately.
Speaker 1:fortunately, kids and I, we we have like a really special bond.
Speaker 3:No, I loved you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love kids and then they love me, so like it was good.
Speaker 3:The first five minutes. No, it was just like you want to play and he was like no, and then it was.
Speaker 1:Then he was playing, yeah, so like you know, yeah, and it was good, and I will say this there was a moment where we were like all sitting down and I was like Regent and like they all yes, because his mother his father, his grandfather, his sister. Yes, and it was like they should have all popped out at the door.
Speaker 3:All the male regents in the room I mean they didn't pop out of the room, but we was definitely looking at like what, what do you want?
Speaker 1:Like because they, you know they were in the room and we were out there and we like come play with us. But I do want to say on on on behalf of as long as I've known you and as how much I've seen you grow and you know I'm always saying how proud I am of you Thank you for inviting us into your home, our warm, beautiful home. Yeah.
Speaker 2:It looks so nice.
Speaker 1:The food was good, hold please.
Speaker 3:Okay, after these messages we'll be right back. Right, because I don't know what he went to. Go get.
Speaker 1:I saved it. I saved this for the recording.
Speaker 3:I hope you didn't save the food. No.
Speaker 2:Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha.
Speaker 1:So, guys, what I'm holding up in my hand is red blood cells A B negative. I had O N A that I brought home and it was like it's alcohol but it's in a blood patch.
Speaker 2:It's in a distribution pack.
Speaker 1:And so, but it was great man, it was wonderful, and really just know that, no matter what happens, you have a big support system, you know, and we truly love you and proud of you.
Speaker 2:Indeed so exciting to have like a. I mean because I know this is like a new beginning for you, a new start. So to have people in your space to just kind of welcome you like as you move into that it's special.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like I said before, I really appreciate it. I just I wish that I'm still at some point. I'm going to post stuff. I just have it because I haven't been feeling for best.
Speaker 1:We don't have COVID or anything. Right, You're OK.
Speaker 3:No, it's a. We'll talk about it later. I'm just like out of it.
Speaker 1:But I do want to say this one thing I walked in and shout out to one of your coworkers and I walked in and was like oh, my God. I got to say hi to her and I'm like that is not his mother, but the thing I love especially about us individually, I don't know, hold on y'all. There is don't do that, don't do that, blair. Blair is looking around.
Speaker 2:It sounds like, I mean, they are literally moving furniture around this motherfucker, like what the hell.
Speaker 1:It looks like Blair is looking around. She's like, let me go search the noise and then Like can you hear?
Speaker 2:hold on listen, you don't hear that. I guess you wouldn't hear that, but it sounds like they're like they're moving out and they said, fuck this shit.
Speaker 1:Well, I know my neighbor is moving out, so but she, I want to say how and I want to keep saying this how all of us are so proud of you and even like, when you invite someone that you work with to your personal space, that's usually like let's all be on our best behavior, Because this one, she deals with my job and she got to see a side of you that I'm pretty sure she'd never really saw before, and you can tell a lot about a person by the people that they have around them. And I also want to thank you for allowing me to be my full silly self throughout the entire night, without saying hey, PJ, calm down, Relax.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, that was a mistake. No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1:But it was just that we had an amazing time and, blair, you were definitely missed, like I really missed your shit.
Speaker 2:I wish I could have been there, but I'll just have to make a separate chip to the Bronx on my own. We'll do something midway.
Speaker 3:Yours a lot open.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 3:Well now that we've done loving up on each other question the week, question the week, question the week, your questions as they pertain to you prospectively and introspectively. So I did mention that I want to try and post something eventually, I don't know when. Once I feel good, I will post up some of the October. I'll say this October is one of my favorite months because I really get to dress up, be a character. And when I was with you the other day, pj, we went to Spirit of Halloween and we were looking at costumes or whatever, and I saw so many dope costumes. I was like, oh, I could have been this. Well, I could have been that.
Speaker 3:And it really got me thinking, understanding why I don't do more costumes and more character development in that way. I think maybe some of the barrier was because it's money, right, like if you buy a costume or even if you have to make a costume, you have to spend money for the materials. But I really started wondering why I didn't do that, because I really got excited and I realized that's become a part of me. So I've done Halloween Like I was at my housewarming. I was a spotted lantern fly, which was very annoying, by the way, I put these little antenna and legs and everybody's way and everybody was like, oh dear lord.
Speaker 1:There was a moment where he was just standing in the doorway and his antenna was sticking in his dad's face. It was like there we just didn't even play with the antenna.
Speaker 2:I mean that's essentially what happens. Right, there's spotted lantern flies everywhere, so it definitely fit.
Speaker 3:But I did that. And then I dressed up for Comic Con. I was static shock for Comic Con and so I did quite a big photo shoot for that. I still didn't post anything because, like I said before, busy don't feel well all that stuff, but it got me thinking. Question of the week what was the best Halloween costume that you saw this year?
Speaker 2:Oh, that I saw.
Speaker 1:Well, before we talk about what we saw because I didn't really see any, because I actually didn't see any except for your house and all my way there. But I will say I saw Diddy's post about how they gave him a cease and desist about the Joker, which I don't even believe that really happened.
Speaker 1:You didn't see them they warner brothers or whoever owns I think it is one of the brothers who owns the Batman sent him a six page cease and desist to not do the Joker. That could have been just a joke that his post that he made and his next costume he actually was Batman.
Speaker 2:Why.
Speaker 1:So a car and everything.
Speaker 2:No, I don't understand. Like what did he do that they wanted him to stop doing?
Speaker 1:Go to go to go to his Instagram and look at his his post before the Batman post.
Speaker 3:He did. He has an Instagram.
Speaker 2:I know what is it, p Diddy is Diddy. Just did he is. Did he hold up, is it? Oh, I forgot this thing is calling himself love. How many names does he have, jesus?
Speaker 1:I mean as many names it needs to take so people won't find out his T. You, Nick.
Speaker 3:I did the black joke. I got a bunch of emails from the studio telling me to not be the joke anymore that I was breaching the trademark and so I don't know what I want to be this year. But I will say to the motherfucker that took all this time we talk about sending me this six full papers. I'm not even going to show the business on the papers.
Speaker 3:Tell me not to be the joke I don't have to tell you when I'm not going to be the joke with this year, just because your ass had enough time to fuck up my motherfucking Halloween. Now watch, but wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, but why?
Speaker 2:What did he do? I don't understand.
Speaker 3:I want to be that oh.
Speaker 1:No, but that was last year.
Speaker 2:I know I was like I don't understand why they didn't want him to dress up like you, Because I want to do it so that I get a letter too, because then I realized he probably was better than he was actually.
Speaker 1:Remember, that was actually really, really. That was like the best joke I think I've ever seen since Jack Nicholson days.
Speaker 3:But what does it matter? People dress up as things all the time. Why him? Because he's black.
Speaker 2:Not the darkest night I'm. Ha, ha, ha ha.
Speaker 1:No, it was crazy, it was interesting.
Speaker 2:He has too much money that he could rent out the fucking Batmobile.
Speaker 1:Now he looks like a swollen Batman. He got stung in his face by a bunch of bees.
Speaker 2:Well, so now that's the question. It's like at what point does it become a thing where you need to cease and desist somebody from dressing up as somebody Like I don't see how that was you have to be selling?
Speaker 3:something or doing something that monetarily changes or possibly can take away from them.
Speaker 2:But if you're just Exactly yeah.
Speaker 1:I understand.
Speaker 2:It's not like he was dressing up as the Joker and then running around in costume telling little kids to shoot heroin Like Ha ha ha.
Speaker 3:Like that's a son of a bitch.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying he would have had to have done something that was so detrimental to the brand in order for them to have grounds to send him a cease and desist. Like that's weird to me. Like one of brothers you've been weird, but again, maybe there's a piece of this that I am not.
Speaker 3:Well, you did mention something about the brand. Maybe there's something that it has to do with P Diddy, you know? Did he in particular? Right, Because people will do that. Like you know, a lot of these companies are very, very sensitive about the brands and who they are, so if you're big enough, they don't like. I heard some nonsense about Disney upset at a Howie Howie.
Speaker 1:Bailey.
Speaker 3:Howie Bailey, you know, with her being pregnant, you know I don't know how true that is, but you know it's just the need to pull over again. Pregnant. You know it's it. They're very sensitive, so I wonder if it has to do with Diddy, but I would want to know exactly what it is. That's that's what I'm curious about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because that's that's weird.
Speaker 1:But to go back to answering your question yes, I will, I will. I think I, on my way to your house I did see.
Speaker 3:That's messed up. All your answers should have been mine. I didn't really get to see.
Speaker 2:But yours was the best that I that I saw, that I had that I won't tell you.
Speaker 1:I ain't gonna tell you what you want to hear.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, no, here's what's pretty well.
Speaker 2:when you told me what you were going to be, I was like, ah, that's good Lantern fly.
Speaker 2:Buttered lantern fly. Um, I didn't. I didn't see this. I read about it. I read that there was a kid. I don't know how old this kid was. I'm assuming maybe they're a little older, but it was the end of the night and you know it was like lately late, you know, like most of the trigger treating had been like done at this point. And this woman said that, uh, you know her doorbell rings. So she went to go get the door and it was this kid there, dressed in all red, dressed in all red, and said I'm sorry, I'm late, but I'm your period and you know well, she in. I cried, I cried, I cried because that's fucking hilarious.
Speaker 3:So you say that and I saw a little Nas X post that post that he was a tampon.
Speaker 1:I'm done.
Speaker 3:There was. There was a block. There was like a block vagina and it had like some blood around it, and then he's like running away with the rope attached inside the vagina.
Speaker 2:I mean that's gross. See, but that's the thing, like stuff like that, like it's, it's very interesting to me, so like that in particular, like I'm like that's gross, I don't like that. But the kid dressed all in red talking about hi, I'm sorry I'm late, but I'm your period, that's funny to me, like because it has like that, that, that joke involved in it. But anyway, um, my one of my best friends just dressed up as Daphne from Scooby Doo and she like fucking nailed it. So that was. That was pretty good.
Speaker 1:On my way home yesterday I saw and so here's the thing about people who live in New York and we know this the trains nasty. Now I understand and I think before I, before I preface and saying this, I used to be this young guy that would be outside half ass naked. But here's the thing If you are in, he was like an angel right Big wings. It was like it was astonishing. I wouldn't I don't take pictures of random people anymore, I just don't do that because I don't need you in my phone but he was sitting on the train. It was very empty and he was in a jockstrap and he was sitting with the booty hole on on the. His ass looks amazing, but I would never want to munch on that, which makes me now never want to eat people's booty again, because it's like where have you been sitting? That's where you draw the line.
Speaker 2:It took all this time to get here.
Speaker 1:Now that we're here, my question is do you sit on the train, which are booty hole pressed against the seat? The body looked great and he had these heels and they were look great, but he was, and so he was struggling to tie his wings. And I'm sitting there like I want to go help him.
Speaker 2:No, but leave him be.
Speaker 1:He was, he was, he was, he was handsome.
Speaker 2:Leave, leave him be.
Speaker 1:But so what I was going to say is going forward. You know I can, since had been had been that guy who always felt like he had to be sexy. This is like the first time I've actually done Halloween to be funny and really enjoyed that more than trying to be sexy or show my body or even be gory, like I like the fun aspect of Halloween. And I made a promise myself now going forward, especially after your party, that fun is where it's at. Let's have fun y'all.
Speaker 3:What, what? What day does Halloween land on next year? Because next year.
Speaker 2:I'm turning Wednesday right.
Speaker 3:And I'm going to be doing it up. I don't. Let's see, it's a Thursday.
Speaker 2:Is it Thursday? Is next year leap year?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:It sure is.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's a Thursday.
Speaker 1:So that's all you born on February 29. It'll actually be February. I'm just saying it's February 29. It'll actually be their birthday.
Speaker 2:No, he said February, February, February, February like library, library, library library, library.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm going to. I'm going to try and go to several things and dress up the several things. I really like that.
Speaker 2:I used to dress up all the time for Halloween, but I've fallen off these last couple of years, so next year I'd like to get back on board with that as well.
Speaker 1:With me with two one of these events I do know that if we go anywhere next year and the three of us we have, we're doing a group costume a uniform costume.
Speaker 2:We're doing a group costume.
Speaker 3:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:I don't know what we'd be I better start thinking we will figure it out.
Speaker 1:What about you? What's the best costume that you've seen since you? You propose this question.
Speaker 3:Um, the best costume that I saw I you know, I'll say this I think the best one that I liked, because I think it was just easy was the friend, friend stone costume that I saw when I was with you and I've seen I don't know why, but I guess it's popular this year because I seen like three of them, you know, just like in passing, you know, on on Instagram. I don't it's not the best costume overall because I don't think I've seen that many, but that's the one that sticks out with me. Rather boring, but it was so easy and I'd rather do that. I wanted to do that so badly because I didn't have to do arts and crafts, like I could just slip on this freaking orange and black Moo Moo would be done with it.
Speaker 1:Not an orange and black Moo Moo Listen, hey, shit, you know.
Speaker 2:So I didn't see this in person, but I did see a video of it on Instagram and it was this man and woman dressed up as Aladdin and Jasmine and they put a rug on like a I guess it was a hoverboard kind of thing and they were flying through the streets of New York like on a magic carpet and I was like that shit was dope.
Speaker 1:They bet they better have been turned each corner going oh oh no, don't you dare close your eyes. Doesn't that sound like rape?
Speaker 3:You know I wow. Anyway, I didn't see that many creative costumes. I will say that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the thing.
Speaker 3:They were very standard, but I will show you a picture of what I thought was funny and this and I closed it out with this. Where can I find it?
Speaker 1:Where is it at? This is some good blood Wow.
Speaker 3:Hold on, I thought that this, I thought this picture was so fucking funny.
Speaker 1:Is that, miss Piggy?
Speaker 2:No, what am I looking at? What are we looking?
Speaker 3:at. It's a picture of an alien, like from aliens, with a wig like a big old drag. I'm done.
Speaker 2:I see it's like an alien dressed in drag.
Speaker 3:Like it's just so absurd.
Speaker 2:Now that right, there is the alien superstar.
Speaker 1:That's done, okay. Speaking of Blair, I love how you did that. I love how you did that. Okay, we're talking about alien superstars and things, as I sit in here with my exclusive Renaissance sweatshirt that I got from the shirt from who? From the Sherry show Shout out to I am just Patrick. The Renaissance for Beyonce. Yes, I can never. I can never now again going forward, I can never talk back.
Speaker 2:So you got it for your girl.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm officially now in the hive. I literally have exclusive merch that wasn't sold anywhere.
Speaker 2:The fact that you feel the need to continue to tell us that it's exclusive merch.
Speaker 1:I mean, I don't feel the need to tell you that it's exclusive merch, but it just happens to keep rolling the fact that it's exclusive merch.
Speaker 3:It just comes right off.
Speaker 1:the tongue Comes right off the tongue Exclusive, see, it's just. You know, and I love being exclusive. You don't even know. But I wanted to like scale back a little bit because you know we've been having these conversations, guys, about like social media and the effects of it and how like times are changing. And you know times are changing and we are now moving into a different part of the year. This nigga is holding up M&M's.
Speaker 3:I was trying to get Blair's attention.
Speaker 1:Now I can't. Now I can't, throw I can't. I lost my trade. No, but we're moving into the latter part of the year. Shout out to Happy November, everybody. It is officially Scorpio season. Right, come on to our residential Scorpio.
Speaker 2:On the point, I mean what's understood doesn't need to be explained.
Speaker 1:Mute box, mute her, mute her, but, and so we're moving into the latter part of the year, and the latter part of the year begins with. You know, we're Thanksgiving and Christmas. I want some too, and Chris.
Speaker 2:I was trying to keep the conversation moving. She said she wants some candy right now. I was next door at CV at Walgreens and looking to see like what Halloween candy they had on discount, and they did have some M&M's but they weren't discounted as much as I felt like they should be. So I put them back and now I wish I had them.
Speaker 1:Can we just, can we just say that this is the best time in the year to actually buy your candy?
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Everybody should know that Like, it's literally like the like I'm going to buy my television after Black Friday or whatever else, like I don't know I'm going to do all this, I need to buy new TV, but anyway, fast forward. So back to back to back to our exclusive conversation based on my exclusive merch that will never leave the house, by the way.
Speaker 2:I very much doubt that you say that now.
Speaker 1:But it might show it all. But you know it's mine, but you know I don't want it to get dirty or smell like outside. So I really was after seeing Miss Tina, because it was the great thing about being a part of that episode was that literally you could not have your phones on and I don't understand how nobody got was like everybody's like oh my God.
Speaker 2:So who's?
Speaker 1:gonna be the guest? Who's gonna be the guest? This and that, whatever, like. Do you not understand that everybody here is dressed in Renaissance attire? Maybe, obviously, you know, could it be Beyonce, but of course it wasn't. But, like, who's the next best thing? Oh, maybe it might be Jay-Z or blue Ivy, or maybe could be somebody would now blue would have been. That would have been a get.
Speaker 2:That would have been a get for Sherry out to the Sherry Shepherd show.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but the conversation that Miss Tina was having with her just really made me go and she was like you know, she was talking about how big Beyonce is and still, Beyonce still knows her values, knows her to the core and she's raised her family to be of a certain caliber or, you know, be able to go after what they want because of based on things that we've. She as a parent, when she was a child, she was unable to get and it really had. It really made me think about, like, the decisions that our parents have made to instill in us these values and how our and like question are we still upholding those values and are we changing those values? To shoot, Now that we're in the year of our Lord, 2023, going into 2028, because we're just going to fast forward past the next four years? That was five years, but you know I didn't do my math, like I was.
Speaker 1:I was really curious to find out, like, especially with us being from different parts of the country and us being different individuals, like what our values were and what our values are now, and like, how do we think about that and what do we see when we go into other spaces and understanding what their values are and are we. Are we judging them for their values? Like I, had a whole bunch of questions lined up for you guys, but I really was curious to see what your core values are. So my first question to ask of you guys if you're ready.
Speaker 3:Lay it on thick.
Speaker 1:So first I want to ask you what does? What does the word value means to you personally?
Speaker 2:I mean just off the top of the head, like I would just say that it's something that holds significance.
Speaker 3:Okay, I think it's what is. I think it's how you, how you prioritize what's important to you and and you and you basically, and how you treat it. So I mean essentially what Blair said it's so, it's what's significant to you, but it's how you prioritize it. And what I will add to the whole value thing and this is a conversation that me and my mother actually have a lot is values change, but people don't reevaluate their values enough. Because if your values are so rigid, what happens is that your values tend to tend to break because they fit into that shape or mold and that's not to say that you should change your values, but, once again, being able to constantly analyze and figure out how is it important to your everyday living.
Speaker 2:But is that the values that are rigid or the way that you practice those values that can be rigid? I think like that's the thing I think like if you have your basic moral values that you hold to be true, there's different ways to act on or exercise how you display those values. I think the problem I think what you're saying is the problem kind of comes into play when you're so fixated on executing your values in one specific way, regardless of how circumstances or environments or situations or you yourself have changed, because there has to be flexibility with how you act, how you perform, how you execute the things that are important to you.
Speaker 3:That's a good way of looking at it. I would agree with you, but I would add that your values also change as time goes on as well. Like for example, the reason why that I wanted to be an actor when I was young is because I wanted to be famous and popular. That's not the same reason. So my values have shifted, but that's because I analyzed what that value meant to me and I also reevaluated my approach.
Speaker 1:See, it's funny because I think that's so. Even that's the question that we I've asked either of you two when we went from four to three, right, and so our intention behind this podcast when it was four of us, and now what's the intention when it's the three of us? They did slightly change and we have a clearer vision of what we want and I think that's what your values at least for me, when I think of what's a value, it's your vision of what you see, whether it's for your life, for your family, for your friends or for people you just don't even know. But these are like the values that I have, and I was having this conversation and I realized that my values are changing and it's really due to what I do professionally, at least with the aspect of driving for funeral homes. So my values are updating every day and I was curious to see if I was the only one who was going through these changes with that.
Speaker 2:I guess and this is maybe just like the stickler in me, but I think it's important for us to really kind of like, and then maybe this is just different for all of us.
Speaker 2:But I think what we're doing right now is we're just kind of mixing different definitions. I think that what you were talking about just now, pj, is not necessarily values, but it's desires, like things that you desire to do or desire to have or desire to be. I think that that's different from like what you deem to be a value. Like to me, like a value that I have, is honesty. You know, like that is like that's a moral value that I have and the way that I act on or execute. You know that value in my life is, you know, to be honest with other people in the hopes that they would return that honesty to me. To be honest in how I you know how I act, how I behave, how I show up in the world. You know what I mean. Like, I think like we're talking about values versus desires, versus priorities, versus actions, and those are all different things.
Speaker 1:So okay, so let's take a step back. So Miriam and her cousin Webster, their definition I'm so weak. The definition is the regard of something that is held to deserve the importance, the worth or usefulness of something. Your support is of great value. Definition number two a person's principles or standards of behavior. One's judgment of where are my freaking? My glasses, with no arm, hold y'all.
Speaker 2:That's the most oldest man thing that you have ever done.
Speaker 1:What is?
Speaker 2:It was the facial expression that went along with putting on your glasses.
Speaker 1:Everybody knows what that facial expression looks like.
Speaker 2:It's the wide nostrils with the O shaped mouth.
Speaker 1:So it says you know principles of standards of behavior, one's judgment of the importance of what is important in life, and you know they give little sentences here and it also is like verb, the estimation of value, of worth and money and something like that.
Speaker 1:But so when I think of values, I think of, like your core values, right, what is like how you said honesty, truth, you know, and you know the pursuit of happiness or whatever you know. I'm not saying whatever to you, I'm just saying like, whatever they can be for anyone, but as time goes on, those adjust a little, those change. They can't be unless they don't, and that's fine. I know that for me they have changed and so now one of my main values now is to bring light in wherever I go to. Now that is, I mean, and bring light, like, bring happiness, make people smile in a moment. I never used to think of that with something of such importance, because by you smiling I'm smiling even more. So it's helping my mental health as well as maybe lifting yours in any kind of form fashion, if that's making sense.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean it is making sense. I think what's interesting is that it sounded like in the beginning, where we were asking, where we were answering your question, that we had a hard time actually defining what values are, because there's so many things that could be core principles to one person versus what are core principles to the next person. So can we all list maybe five values that come to the top of our mind? Like you know, because, like for me, I mean because I saw that I saw where you were going.
Speaker 3:I, we finally hear we hear, you know, because, like for me, like I think for me, if I had to list five, I think it would be family, I think it would be friends, I think it would be your career, I don't know what you-.
Speaker 1:But when you put career, in there. Priorities, yeah, but when you put career in it, that's not a value, that's of value.
Speaker 2:But I think, like well, I think again. I think we all have different definitions or different ways that we like look at it. But like those three things that you listed when you listed family, friends, career to me I would define those as priorities, like things that are important to you. But what is a?
Speaker 3:value there. What would you list?
Speaker 2:Honesty, integrity, fairness, trust, respect. I think like that's. When I think of values, I think like those kinds of things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cause I have fair, I have. You know we may be in Scorpio season but still, as a Libra, I believe in fairness. So fairness, justice, these things are. This is an important part of my values. Like you gotta be fair, you gotta be just, you have to respect each other. Do you know what's funny about that?
Speaker 3:I mean to cut you off, you did, but you know what's hilarious about that. You say stuff like that and I'm all like, well, those things are given. Like not that they're given, but are they but right, not given as a person, but those are intrinsic to me. So that's so for me to like list that like.
Speaker 2:So that's like you're listing your values as different?
Speaker 3:because yeah, right because to me, why would I not want somebody that can trust? Let's go back to the house woman that we had talked about earlier. I'm not inviting nobody in my house that I don't trust.
Speaker 1:I did not get pat down Thank you for trusting me, and I didn't leave with anything, so yay.
Speaker 2:It looks like he left with a bag of alcohol.
Speaker 3:You didn't see the built-in metal detector, so that was. That was part of the problem.
Speaker 2:He has his apartment set up like an Amazon storefront. And I had the it already charged you when you left Right.
Speaker 3:But so it's funny, those things are built in and fundamental for me. So I'm not going to invite anybody anybody that and I always tell people this if you see me hanging out with somebody and like they're like I call them my best friend or like I invite them to an event like my house warming or anything like that, Know that I trust and love that person dearly, because no one else is going to get past or into that center. So it's funny that you mentioned stuff. I'm mentioning stuff that can't like to me is not obvious, but to me it's obvious that you should have somebody that's trusting, you should have somebody that's fair, you should have somebody that's going to be just.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but okay. So just imagine there are people who grew up in a fight or flight type of situation or in survival mode. Constantly their values are changing because their values aren't ingrained in honesty. Their values could be ingrained in deception or seeing the truth behind something that they this is something that is part of their core makeup. Like what is it? What movie is that In and Out with the core memories? Cartoon, Pixar, when the core Emotions yeah, those core memories is what make them who they are and that's their values. That's what they stick to, that's what they keep constantly going back to. And I think that and I bring that up because I literally just had a dream the other day about me and my people who live up here and how it's- ever.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of them up there.
Speaker 3:We find specifically at the house warming.
Speaker 1:Wait what.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you said 25.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, 25. Thank you, I'm so glad you remember the number I told you. But there's. You know that, as you know, it's like rows at a theater, so like some sit at the front row and whoever is. Like you know, there's secondary, tertiary and all going forward back.
Speaker 3:But I'm all fucking in the back.
Speaker 1:No fucking in the back. Actually, you know the values of one like I used to have. One of my values is to really have a really great sex life. That was something that was of value and for my values, like sex was like a one really big thing and it isn't anymore. It hasn't been for quite some time, you know, even as I go on these random dates with these individuals no-transcript.
Speaker 2:I swear to God that cough started off unrelated. And then it just it. Just then, it just fit.
Speaker 1:It just fit. But when I go on these dates, you know, and one person asked me, he was like he asked me and this is another reason why you know it's like I'm glad the universe has been university lately. He's like so what, what do you value in a relationship? And I said, to be honest with you, right now I can't say or say I value anything in a relationship because, number one, I haven't been in one in a long time. Number two, I value my values are more centered around legacy than they are around relationships and loving someone else.
Speaker 1:I was walking down the street and I recommend people do this and you know, and especially if you know that you talk to yourself, I would recommend that you put on a voice recorder and literally have a conversation with yourself. And I was talking with myself and I was talking about what do I value in a relationship? And then it just conversation. Just, I haven't listened back to it yet because I'm pretty sure it sounded. It's it sound like I was actually speaking to someone, but I was speaking to myself and I know that throughout me talking, I was changing things as they were coming out and I didn't know what was coming out. Obviously, you know I'm having conversation, but so OK. So let me ask you then where do you think that your values have come from, when you say that you value honesty, right, what? Where do you think that some of these traits are? What were? How are they instilled in you?
Speaker 2:My parents, my parents definitely instilled like my core values in me, with honesty, fairness, trust, caring all of those things.
Speaker 1:Do you have an example on how they actually?
Speaker 2:I mean it's really about, like.
Speaker 2:It was really just about like showing me, getting me to understand, you know, the version of myself that I wanted to be in the world. So, you know, they really just kind of taught me like the things that you do you know really dictate like who you are and how people view you. So if you want to be viewed a certain way, you have to show up a certain way in order for people to understand that that's who you are and these are the things that are the essence of you. So they really like just made that connection for me at a young age and then continued to reinforce that as I was growing up.
Speaker 3:I would say my parents as well. I think they did the majority of it. But I would also say and I mentioned this to somebody else as well I found I do my best when I'm in a position where I connect the dots or I can do that for people. So, as we had talked about a couple of podcast episodes ago, I got a promotion and what I'm doing right now I'm actually happier in what I'm doing because I'm teaching people and I'm connecting the dots and everything that I've done that with.
Speaker 3:I've always been extremely happy with, whether it be with this, whether it be with in my fraternity, whether it be with acting, you know, showing a different perspective and point of view. So I think I get that value from anybody that can just show another aspect to me and then just make it make sense, because I think a lot of people say stuff, do stuff, show you stuff, and they just show it to you because that's all they know, but they don't really say why or show like, can, like, really with tangible evidence or in a really good way, show you a better way. So I also pick up value from people who are close to me, my friends, my circle of people, everybody that I speak to there's. There's something that I get out of that relationship because there is something of value that's there.
Speaker 1:So so funny, because so my values didn't come from my parents, and so that's that's what's also interesting. Like my values came from the people that I chose to be around, my friends, or the lack thereof. My values came from whatever popped in my head, or what I created and then found out that either they were right or they were wrong, or they didn't make sense, or anything like that. My values came from what I saw on television, you know, and so I asked these questions, and I'm asking this specific question like, as far as, where do we get our values from? Because, as we see, times are changing and we are not we, we are the generation, my generation and yours. Let's combine them together.
Speaker 1:Are the generation that's raising these kids now, right? And their values are changing because they now have social media. As we said before in the last episode, all they know is social media. So their values are what's on the Internet, right? How do you think that that is going to shape them as a human? If they, if they weren't instilled with these core values that each family should have, whether it's love, commitment, responsibility, you know, self-awareness, understanding, blah, blah, blah how are they going to be actualized, fuel human beings and be able to be grateful for what they do have and don't have or want going forward.
Speaker 2:So I'll answer that question with just an optimistic thought. I think that I think that we're very quick to say that the generation with what we're generation, what, what are we we're like most, and so what's after us? Gen Y Z, whoever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, millennials. Then there's generation Z and then Gen Alpha.
Speaker 2:So them niggas? I think that we as older millennials and Gen X are very quick to say that the kids of today don't have the same morals, values, ethics that we had. And that might be true. We live in a different time, we are formal years, we're at different times and the world looks very different from when we were. You know, coming of age and shaping who we are. But I don't think that that necessarily means that they are missing core values or core characteristics. I think that maybe they develop them in a different way than we did and they're still going to look different from how ours ended up solidifying. But I don't necessarily think that that's. I'm not inclined to think that that is a bad thing. I think that there is still the possibility for them to have a similar experience to us in the sense of like we felt like X, y and Z was really good for us because we were able to develop into. I think that they still have the same opportunity to have that same outcome. It just looks different from how we did it Right.
Speaker 1:That's what I heard as I'm speaking to you, as you were telling it could be the same thing, just mold it into something different, because there is a different lived experience there. So you're coming from the upper, upper, upper middle class.
Speaker 2:Why do we do this every time, I thought it was just upper. It is just the upper. Thank you, upper class.
Speaker 1:Yes, but you have a different lived experience than myself from a low middle class and then Chris coming from the middle class, so we have different experiences as far as what is truly important and what can be important. And then, what do we see physically on TV and how do we see ourselves represented? The great thing about being at the show yesterday was Kevin Avianz was there.
Speaker 1:People don't know who Kevin Avianz is if you're not involved or if you're not pretty much in gay culture. He looks like an old man dressed in makeup, but this is a living legend for us in our community and that gives a value of walking in your boldness, walking in your truth, walking in your light. That's what it could mean to those young kids who are now walking around being their most authentic selves. They may be going about it the wrong way because they're like well, bitch, you're an old bitch and we still have any same problems that I don't want to respect you because yada, yada, yada and it's just like who the fuck is you talking to? Do you not know how to talk to people who are elders or older than you? Do you not know what respect means?
Speaker 2:But I go to. In our generation there are people like that talking to our elders like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but also at the same time, just because we have those values don't mean that they correlate across generations, doesn't mean that it makes sense to them because it's not their experience and they don't care about those values because that's not important to them. That has nothing to do with what's going to help them, because has it helped us? It took us this long to get to where we are now, while everybody else is walking into the work that we did, like even with the civil rights movement. We're not experiencing things like we were back then, back in slavery times. Police is a modern day slavery. It's like a cycle. I don't know.
Speaker 1:I was always go ahead. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:No, I was going to say so. I think that's right, though I think, unfortunately, what happens as a default from the older generations comparing themselves to the newer generations, I think everybody just says, oh, that's not how we did it and there's something wrong with these kids.
Speaker 3:I think that it's very. I think it's always going to look different and I think you're always going to have the generations, from old to new, really say that and I think people just don't like the fact of how it's done. But you have to really think about where you're at, because if our generation was so great and this is not me banishing Mount Millennials or any generation that you're in but if our generation was so great, then shouldn't we be further along? And we're not, because the way that we did it, for whatever reason, didn't work or only work so much. But I think everybody does that. You talk to anybody. You talk to boomers. The boomers look at people for the generation after them. They're all like, yeah, they were just troublemakers and they weren't doing what they were supposed to be doing. You look at Millennials. They look at we, look at Gen Z, like damn, what the fuck are they doing?
Speaker 1:So, boomers, I'm sorry to cut you off, but boomers, let's say that their core values has to do with security, which genuinely is like they get a good paying job, stay here, retire, get a pension, get a big dig and all that bullshit, right? I don't know where that came from. That's the woman you're looking for huh, you got a big dig and a bang.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think that they're translated across generations. Now, Listen.
Speaker 1:if you listen to some of these older hold on New York City is here. If you listen to some of these older records, you can tell. But it's like you know, it's always when they tell us oh, you were raised right, you know, but that's based on the values that they had, they grew up with. And these other kids are like who the fuck raised you? And so who's to say? And I was another reason why I wanted to.
Speaker 1:I was thinking about this as a conversation piece was. I would I often like have my headphones in, as you all know, but I'm not listening to anything, but I'm just literally all up in people's businesses. And I was sitting next to this girl on the train from all the way from the Brooklyn to the Bronx the Brooklyn, I caught it right from Brooklyn, all the way to the Bronx she was literally taking pictures with her phone and this was I said, this was her with her phone. She just kept doing this and just, it was the same picture over and over again and it was like this level of, and I think that my fear is that their value is going to be this level of false sense of perfection that's not really obtainable, based on whatever social media says it is. But that's like it has to be perfect. You have to look good. You have to look good at all times and smell good and feel good and eat good or whatever. To fuck at all times, because social media says it this way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, and that's very valid, that's a very valid fear. But I again just translate that to I think every generation has something like that, like whatever it was from when things transitioned from radio to film. It was all about like who you saw and emulating who you saw on TV, on film. That was like what the craze was at that time. This radio, all right.
Speaker 1:So let me ask you a question. Who oh right, sorry, we're going to close these out, right? Who do you admire the most, and why? First person that pops in your head. Jesus Ladies and gentlemen, it's the fact that her face is not even blinking. She's, like I said, jesus.
Speaker 2:I said what I said.
Speaker 1:Okay, why.
Speaker 2:Because he died for my sins.
Speaker 1:Okay, but that's based on action, so why?
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to. I'm not going to win this or not even this is not even.
Speaker 2:No, well, I mean he would. You, would you like a, a a closer proximity? Example Love. I've just just note that that was my genuine answer, but I'll give you an example that's a little more tangible Um, team Jesus, team soldiers for.
Speaker 1:Christ Team.
Speaker 2:Jesus Not play these games Go ahead who do I admire and why? Um, so funny it's like. It's like you tried to, you feel like you have an answer to this question, but then, when it comes down to it and you have to, like, cite somebody as an example and then Give you know evidence to that, it becomes a lot harder. Because the thing is with humans, and that's why I said, jesus, we're all flawed in some way.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, so let me rework this question, okay, because it's not perfect Jesus, but is this is.
Speaker 1:This is not about perfection or flaws or anything like that, like based on Um. Whatever it is that you've learned from Sad person, or said activity or said, I don't know, it doesn't have to like. Whom whom do you admire, like? Okay, so here's an example. How about I let me lead off with this? Okay, so who do I admire? Um, I would say I admire my house father, which would be Lee soldier, and the reason why is because of his resilience. I admire my father. I admire him for it, him to be able to push through Um, no matter what anybody says about him. Um, no matter what anybody does to shade him. Um, he's an underdog and he still does what he needs to do so that other people can have what they have. Does that make sense? Yeah, so like he puts other people's needs before his own.
Speaker 1:I admire that about him. It's not the greatest quality, but it's just something that because, once this person is dead and gone, you realize that oh wow, that was, that was something that was great. That you realize that this is what this person was doing this entire time and wasn't asking for accolades, wasn't asking for anything, and I admire that about him and I want to be more like him in that manner and that's the, that's the value that has. That has never been in my existence before. But as I've walked into these forties, this is where we are now. Not him playing with his antennas Go ahead, I'm sorry. I will say that I admire my sister-in-law because she is a person that I admire. I admire her, I admire her.
Speaker 2:I admire her, I admire her. I admire her. I admire her. I admire her. I admire her. I admire her, I admire her. I admire her, I admire her, I admire her, I admire her, I admire her, I admire her and I admire her. She's just such a good sister and she has, she. She does so much for her family. You know, in our family, meaning my brother and my niece, she works full-time, you know, is a full-time wife, full-time mother, bitch, I'm a mother and mothers who also, you know, live this life. But you know she does it without complaint. She does it, you know, efficiently. She does it with a genuine desire to make her family happy or to participate in her family's happiness or to create her family's happiness. You know, like I see how much she sacrifices, because my brother does work very odd hours and so a lot of times a lot of responsibility falls on her and she just takes it without any, you know, complaints and does what needs to be done. So Gotcha.
Speaker 3:So for me, as everybody puts on antennas, bum, bzz, some for the beehive, I think. Well, I think that you guys could probably guess who I probably, I guess in my-.
Speaker 1:Peppa Pig. Come on Peppa Pig.
Speaker 3:How'd you guess PJ? I don't know. No, I really I'm gonna add a person to the mix just because of a value that I really enjoy. But I really value and admire my parents for who they are in terms of just being free spirited and, you know, just wanting the best for not just for themselves but for people around them. There's something about that freeness that's there that is very attractive to me, and when I see it from people it's like I admire it a lot. So I was just sitting down the other day and I couldn't believe that I forgot how much I love who's line is it anyway?
Speaker 2:Love it, so I started watching that on HBO, hulu, whatever it is.
Speaker 3:And I haven't even watched all the episodes, but I had started sitting down because I had up like a couple of minutes and I started watching him and I really enjoy Wayne Brady's freeness to just be able to flow. He's somebody that I admire when we talk about like celebrities, like people who you like look up to, and he's one of them because he's just living. He's out there just living his best life.
Speaker 3:And he's so positive and, yeah, I love that freeness, I love just being able to just have everything just roll right off the tongue. Those three people is what are the three people that come to my mind?
Speaker 1:I want to say this, and I wanted to add this in there, because this is another reason why I wanted to have this conversation. This is a basic conversation that Eric and I was having as we were sitting on your couch watching you, and all I kept saying was man, I just love these regions, and from an outside perspective, because everybody loves somebody else's family until they live it right. Okay, oh, my God, your mother is amazing. Yeah, okay, okay, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:But you know, I watched you, alex, your mother, your father and even your grandfather, like I've watched them all and like the way that you guys interact with each other, the way that you show love in a way that isn't judgmental. You guys are silly, you know, you're all allowed to be yourselves to a certain extent from what I can see and the certain extent only extends because of what I can't see, but I see so much value in allowing each other. Like, all I kept saying was man, I love his parents and it's just like I don't know anything about what it was like when they were kids growing up, because it could be very different now that they're adults, but the fact that his parents, it seems like they're genuinely supportive and y'all are silly with each other, cussing at each other, not but cussing at each other, but cussing with each other. Let's say that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because the motherfuckers do. You know what they was doing.
Speaker 1:And it was that. It was like that was it? That was it that, motherfuckers? He was saying it because he was saying it to us, and it's why he said listen here, motherfuckers. I was just like I love that, because all right.
Speaker 3:so we have to give some context here. Okay, we have this thing that we do, where we will mess each other's stuff up on purpose, but like nothing, like crazy, but just like put things out of order, because that's just like what we do. So I don't know if you noticed, pj, but like the bookcase when you're walking down the hallway, there was books. There are old books that was left by my uncle and they were all neatly stacked up or whatever. Why did between Alex and my dad started like shuffling the books around, turning them upside down, and I saw it.
Speaker 1:I saw Alex doing that.
Speaker 3:Because all right. So you know, I'm fucking crazy when it comes to the organization. So it took it was one time for me to come down the hallway and for me to notice it. So I said, well, I'm saying dad, I wanted to show you something. I was like come here for a second. And when I got into the hallway I was like why would you fucking do this? I was like what the fuck is wrong with you, both you and Alex. I was like I know, it's not mom, and then so we were like laughing about that. But that was like that's like an inside joke, because it's kind of like a way that we are showing, you know, endearment, infection or whatever.
Speaker 1:Like it's not that serious, but it's funny enough that because you know that it'll bother me or whoever, Because it makes it seem like one of the core values, from an outside perspective, is that of your parents is individuality, and they allow you guys to be yourselves, without trying to make you into this mold, because they made you out of their you know stuff, things.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Their essence, your essence. I was looking for the word their essence, essence, you know. But they are like. Individuality is really important, it seems, and I adore that. I wish that I had that as one of the reasons why I can't value the way that my you know parents raised me my grandmother maybe, but she raised me to treat others not the way I wanted to be treated, but treat them the way that you know I would treat you. So I love that and you know and I haven't been around Blair's family, but from what I I don't know Blair, but we all got him, you know.
Speaker 2:Oh child.
Speaker 1:But you know, from what I can say and from what you express your value to me and this is the last question I want us, because I'm answering it right what do you think are each other's values based on? And so I think that your value, blair, besides Jesus, okay is understanding Like. You have a, you have a I don't know. You take some time to really, before you respond to like, understand where the person is coming from.
Speaker 3:You do.
Speaker 1:And right before you say okay, wrong, no, no, you know what From it's like, you're like how one of my cousins. Her response usually is so from what I'm hearing you say is so it's like very much. I'm telling you what I heard you say versus here's what it is, and you have a great level of understanding, I think, in your value. I think that if you value it or you don't notice it, but we notice it, Well, well, thank you, I try.
Speaker 2:I just want to heal the world for understanding.
Speaker 3:Make it a better place for you and for me and the entire Blair universe, there are peace, not the.
Speaker 1:Blair universe. Okay Well, oh wait, cause I was, I was, I passed by this highway and I I this this spot in Pennsylvania and I I was going to make a whole U-turn, but it was Regentville and I was trying to get the I'm on Regentville Cause you had. Blair's town, then it was Regentville.
Speaker 2:That's where you need to have the next Regent family reunion.
Speaker 1:Yeah, regentville, pennsylvania, look it up yeah. You don't have to go. That wasn't questioned for him, so we're just going to close it out.
Speaker 3:Oh, so what.
Speaker 1:No, no, okay, Nevermind. Nevermind, that's not cause it's going to make it a little bit longer.
Speaker 2:Oh, you wanted us to say what our perceptions of other, the values of other people.
Speaker 1:Close that with Chris's. Might do me first and then close to Chris.
Speaker 2:So no, I'll do you and I'll wait. You did me, I should do, you did me, I should do Chris, and then Chris would do you.
Speaker 1:Okay, no, I did both of y'all. I'm doing both, oh my.
Speaker 2:What'd you say for Chris?
Speaker 1:No, I was talking about his parent. I didn't do Chris. So yeah, you're right. Yeah, you see the understanding.
Speaker 3:I know what I heard.
Speaker 2:Chris, if I had to guesstimate what your one of your core values is, I mean, I really think that it's. I guess it's similar to mine in a way, but I really think that one of your core values is empathy. Like you really want to make sure that other people feel heard and understood and you have this intrinsic way of just being able to relate to people, regardless of whether or not you have any personal experience with what it is that they're going through. But you have enough of a understanding of Basic human Existence to be able to be like hey, I feel X, y and Z is happening with you and then being able to provide them with a safe space to work through whatever, that is, whether it's good, bad, indifferent in between, whatever. But I think that because you so deeply feel Some type of Vibre essence or emotion from other people, like you just like pick up on that, like it intrinsically that just then.
Speaker 1:Sorry, you were talking and he's doing this, doing again. Do it again. I was trying to laugh.
Speaker 2:I'm not even looking because I'm like I'm looking at my thoughts as they come into my head, so I missed that completely. But yeah, I think that a lot of your values and how you show up in the world is is related to your empathy.
Speaker 3:I accept that. I think that's right.
Speaker 1:Wait, one second, one second.
Speaker 2:I'm like the world's biggest Beyonce. Stand now.
Speaker 3:You are be high down.
Speaker 1:Oh wait, is this this?
Speaker 2:this looks like it's so funny, what a little free merch will do. You were just a whore for some free merch, huh.
Speaker 3:Throw in some food. He's done.
Speaker 2:Okay, golly.
Speaker 3:I think that's right, even when there's been times that I spoke into my my therapist. I think one of the things that I tell him all the time is that I tell him I want people to better themselves and I want to feel like, I want them to feel good. So, because I'm so sensitive to that stuff, that's right, pj. I think that would you. I think one of your values is why you picked up on stuff with my parents.
Speaker 3:I think, when your values is individuality, I think you really really for so long have felt like you were suppressed in some shape or form and felt like you couldn't express yourself in the way that you wanted to. I think that you realize that you can. I think that you really do your best to get and utilize every moment and chance that you get to do that. I mean, when we were all together on the Sherry, on the Sherry Shepherd show, you were just being silly and having a good time and and really loving the moment, and you know I was keeping up.
Speaker 3:But there was something about you that in particular that you just were just so happy to just be yourself and like no one, like really care. You were living your best life and I think that's important to you, to show people not just to yourself, but to show other people that who fucking cares? Be you, do you? You know, as long as you're not harming, you know being malicious to anybody, I think you're, you're 100% ready to just to just glow, and I'm glad that you are seeing that, because I think that that helps you understand how much fun everything can be and make everything fun for a lot of other people as well.
Speaker 1:You know what I want to. I want to accept that because you know Marco show, enough was like picking on me the entire time. By the way, this time he's like Alright, pj, come on, you want to dance? I know you do and I'm like.
Speaker 3:These people don't know me.
Speaker 1:I just met me last two weeks ago, you know, and I accept that I like that because you're absolutely right, it's important I want people to be themselves and just enjoy it. So, on that note, guys, I want to take the time for everybody to ask yourself these questions what are your values? What do you value most? Where did your values come from? And have your values change since you either were younger or have, you know, grown? That's the same thing. But no like really ask yourself, because I think, especially as we all go through these different ages, steps in our lives because, as you're doing steps, I like steps what in the world, as we go through these different phases in our lives, our values do change, and so I huh is that one of your boyfriends?
Speaker 1:Put the show.
Speaker 3:Boys, boys, boys boys.
Speaker 1:I do not have boys, boys I do adore.
Speaker 2:Put your number on the table because I would love to date you. How large you want to get off tour? Yeah?
Speaker 1:When I get off this recording I'll haul at you. But I mean but that is important too Like, like you know, I don't value relationships as I used to like intimate relationships meaning sexual. I value intimate relationships meaning I see you, do you see me? So that's what I think we should all start asking ourselves what has changed from then to what do you see yourselves now? And this is a good way to just like understand yourself as you get older, while Chris is up here with his antenna on his head from his spotter and lantern fly thing and I spilled some of this juice and it's on my pants, but it better not get on this.
Speaker 2:You know exclusive merch.
Speaker 1:So on that note, guys, thank you for taking the time to listen to another episode of highly motherfucking melanated. The safe space where it is OK to be inclusive and exclusive.
Speaker 3:Wow.
Speaker 1:With merch. Wow, wow, no. The same space where it is OK to reanalyze what your values are and if they're still the same, just hold true to them, as always. You can follow us on Instagram, tiktok at highly melanated podcast.
Speaker 2:I would like to request that everybody who is astonished by PJ sudden change in his interest in welcoming Beyonce into our daily conversations and, as Dr is, as the rest of us, how he's willing to just whore himself out for some free merch and send an email to highly melanated podcast at gmailcom.
Speaker 3:Or you can come on over to Twitter, formerly known as Twitter, now X. You know there'll be a spotted lantern. Fly gathering will play some render size music at h underscore melanated.
Speaker 1:Come on releasing your wiggle On that. Note, guys peace, love and.
Speaker 2:That girl you look.
Speaker 1:Right now is the Scorpio's groove. Well, but but America, you still have a problem. Well, you yeah.